A random story in the life of......

[GSPHUNTER]

I’m 64 and have worked with my hands most of my life. I was thinking “God these guys are a bunch of accident prone dopes”. Then I did some reflection.

I’ve tipped over a small crane,
shot myselff with a pneumatic staple gun,
knocked out my front teeth and rearranged my nose and lips using a set of bike handlebars, knocked myself out using a set of bike handlebars (same wreck) knocked myself out using the fist of a kid I picked a fight with (Turns out he was the Illinois state Golden Gloves champ the previous year).
Knocked myself out standing up into a 20000 lb steel cylinder,
knocked myself and another kid out with a good old helmet to helmet tackle playing football.
Fell off the roof of the public swimming pool surfing on a rolling roof panel I was trying to fix.
Shorted out a 200 amp electric panel and my legs panicked without consulting my brain at all. On that one I turned around and ran into a brick wall six feet away as fast as I could run. Oddly enough no loss of consciousness this time, just massive body pain. Brick wall hard… concrete floor also hard… everything so very hard. Too bad we don’t have film.
Shorted out a 480 volt fuse block and got a bad sunburn and temporarily lost most of my facial hair. Had flash blindness for two days in a hotel room on that one.
Cut my left index finger bone deep on a stainless plate coated in grime and nitric acid. Took about fifteen years for the feeling to return to that fingertip.
Got my glove stuck in a mortar mixer which laid the back of my left ring finger open so you could watch the tendons work (amid the ground in mortar.)
Tore my right bicep off its lower mount when I tripped on a set of stairs and caught my arm in a railing.

Fortunately none of this was serious and I’m just fine. Lucky to be here. Grateful.

How the hell did you make it to 64?????????

 

[EastHumboldt]

How the hell did you make it to 64?????????

Well if you’re doing it right, you’re going to scratch the paint, and gets some on ya.

I asked myself the same question after reading the list. Either the great spirit is my good buddy or has been trying to kill me for 64 years.

I should change my screen name to Lucky McBonkhead.

 

[Nickofthewoods]

When I was 21 my friends and I had a late night at some bars and then walked back to the house I was renting at the time which was about 1/4 mile walk uphill from the bars in a small Colorado mountain town. I woke up in the morning to some pain and found that paper towels had been duct taped around my waist. My buddies were crashed on the couches and I had to go to work so I unwrapped the towels to find a deep 4 inch gash on my hip. I applied better bandaging and left for work. After working for a few hours I realized I needed stitches badly so I left for the local clinic where I got about 15 stitches. I talked to my buddies on the phone later and they said that after I passed out at my house (did I mention I was 21) they saw my shirt covered in blood so they haphazardly did some drunken first aid with the paper towels and duct tape. These are lifelong friends of mine so I don't think they lied about anything, but nobody knows what happened. The nurses and doctor at the clinic said that it was a very clean cut like it had happened with a knife. Maybe I pissed someone off at the bar and got stabbed. I'll never know. Man I'm glad those kinds of nights are behind me now...

 

[74Bronco]

We were way up in northeastern Alberta for a branding. They had a 2 person homemade go-cart that we managed to get 4 people on. Well the driver is swerving back and forth at his dog while going full throttle down a gravel driveway. Driver and my youngest brother fly out and clear of everything during the rollover. Middle brother and I stop the go cart from getting wrecked by using our head to cushion the go cart from the gravel. We were like 13 at the time and complained of a head ache and a little blood. Next day I take a shower and there is blood and gravel everywhere in the tub. Later realize the nearest hospital was like 4 hours away, and there wasn't an adult sober enough to drive 20 miles, so we were on our own.
I also tried the oysters the next day. should say oyster, only 1.

 

[Danomite]

This past December on a Barbary sheep hunt I was hustling to get around a knob to get to shooting distance from some sheep. I had put my trecking poles in my pack and was looking up at about the moment I thought the sheep would come into view. I stepped on a baseball sized rock with my left foot and fell on my right side, with my right hand hitting a sharp rock. It bled quite a bit but I thought it was pretty superficial so taped it up and kept hunting. That night at camp I decided to rinse it off and could see my pinky bone. I drove 2.5 hours to the nearest hospital and spent 9 pm to 2 am in the er getting 13 stitches. Spent a few hours sleeping and went back out for 4 more days (no sheep were harmed). The finger is still numb and function isn’t 100%.

 

[CRJR45]

Oh the stories I could tell . I'll start with my first act of brilliance . I was maybe 7 or 8 and had a Super Ball
( a hard rubber ball that bounced like crazy , a big fad in the 60's/70's) in a bread sack and was throwing it at the concrete driveway to see how high I could get it to go .
My dad comes home from work and I say "Hey dad , watch this !" , and wind up and heave it at the ground .
Well , it came back and hit me square in the nose , knocking me over backwards , I ended up flat on my back with a bloody nose , screaming bloody murder .
Mom comes running out the door , sees me on the ground , and asks dad what happened ?

Dads laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes and said , -"Please tell me that's not my kid !"

It got much worse as I got older , LOL