Advice on Dating as a hunter

[Spartan]

Hello! Now that I am in college, I have started trying to get into dating and wondered if y’all would have any advice for me. I am extremely passionate about the outdoors. I also make knives, do taxidermy, and tie flies among other things. These things are my passion and I feel like I am doing what I was made to do when I hunt and spend time outside. The thing is, I have realized that these are hobbies that are more associated with men and that the association of masculine things with me might make it harder for me to find a husband (eventually). I also associate these things with masculinity and a man’s ability to provide. I would love to find a partner who is as passionate about the outdoors as I am. The trouble is, I’m finding that men with these qualities are scarcer than I thought they were and that most of the guys find my interest in these things off putting. I am getting worried that my passion for the outdoors makes me less desirable as a girlfriend/wife and I don’t know what to do about it because these things are a part of me. As women who love the outdoors, what was y’all’s experience with dating and do you have any tips for someone who is new to the dating scene? Also, did you find someone who shared your passion for the outdoors? If so, how did you do it?

Thank you for reading this. I apologize for its length.


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[Maverick1]

 

[Maverick1]

Just a little humor. Bumping this one to the top for others to reply.

 

[Zappaman]

OK, I should READ the original post... so I will edit my post below. Still I feel it applies to either preference (even for women like you)

Advice (I could write a book in this subject with regard to my life BTW):

Keep doing what you LOVE... and you don't have to move to Montana and work on a horse ranch (with someone's beautiful Man Boy nearby). Back then I felt like you, hard to find THAT someone that is into what you are (or not threatened by your abilities). But today I savor the amazing times I had outdoors (and my wife adores my hunting, ranching, and outdoor stories I tell her- there are plenty to tell her for a lifetime together because I spent those years doing what you are doing now).

The MOST important thing you ARE doing is getting that degree!!!!!!! Time will take you on a journey you'll be very happy with- got to have faith though. A LOT of guys get the wife before they know what they want (and vise-versa) in life- then get the divorce. But some wait... and let life happen and don't worry-- he's out there- but it might be years before you find him. But why be in a hurry???

Dating... well I have no idea about that these days, but if you're on a college campus it's likely you'll get some prospects if you get out and check out the scene. Just BE YOU! - and you'll be fine.

 

[manitou1]

Are you kidding? You just described most outdoorsman's perfect woman, lol!
If "Sissy boys" feel intimidated or don't like your lifestyle, they aren't partner material to begin with. Move on to a real dude and life will work out.
One thing I have learned is if your partner and you have common passions and interests, the relationship is much better and you actually become buddies as well.
A partnership based on no common passions or past times is not near as easy... or enjoyable IMO.
Be yourself, focus on what is important, and life (and love) will fall into place.

 

[Spartan]

OK, I should READ the original post... so I will edit my post below. Still I feel it applies to either preference (even for women like you)

Advice (I could write a book in this subject with regard to my life BTW):

Keep doing what you LOVE... and you don't have to move to Montana and work on a horse ranch (with someone's beautiful Man Boy nearby). Back then I felt like you, hard to find THAT someone that is into what you are (or not threatened by your abilities). But today I savor the amazing times I had outdoors (and my wife adores my hunting, ranching, and outdoor stories I tell her- there are plenty to tell her for a lifetime together because I spent those years doing what you are doing now).

The MOST important thing you ARE doing is getting that degree!!!!!!! Time will take you on a journey you'll be very happy with- got to have faith though. A LOT of guys get the wife before they know what they want (and vise-versa) in life- then get the divorce. But some wait... and let life happen and don't worry-- he's out there- but it might be years before you find him. But why be in a hurry???

Dating... well I have no idea about that these days, but if you're on a college campus it's likely you'll get some prospects if you get out and check out the scene. Just BE YOU! - and you'll be fine.

That’s good advice. You are right. I suppose I am more concerned about this than I should be, given that I am young and still have plenty of time to find a partner. Patience is a virtue, as they say. Still, it’s good to hear that from someone because in the moment everything feels more pressing. Thank you very much. I appreciate it.


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[Spartan]

Are you kidding? You just described most outdoorsman's perfect woman, lol!
If "Sissy boys" feel intimidated or don't like your lifestyle, they aren't partner material to begin with. Move on to a real dude and life will work out.
One thing I have learned is if your partner and you have common passions and interests, the relationship is much better and you actually become buddies as well.
A partnership based on no common passions or past times is not near as easy... or enjoyable IMO.
Be yourself, focus on what is important, and life (and love) will fall into place.

That’s really good to hear. I’m glad that’s not intimidating to the good ones. I’m also glad that you mentioned becoming buddies with your partner. That’s something that I very much want in a relationship because I know if I have that a lot of the challenges that I’ve heard come later on will be much easier to get over. Thank you very much for the advice. I needed to hear it.


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[MuleyFever]

Look for outdoor/hunting clubs. Lots of people out there with similar interests.

 

[Spartan]

Look for outdoor/hunting clubs. Lots of people out there with similar interests.

That’s a great idea, as I’ve been having trouble meeting other hunters in the first place. I’m in the Wildlife Society, but sadly most of the people there aren’t exactly the same kind of wildlife enthusiast that I am.


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[sndmn11]

My wife, @KickinNDishin and I met when we were in our mid 30s. We might both describe that as a time period where we decided to let go of dating expectations, presumptions, and trying to fit someone in a box. Our second date we went fly fishing, she had never been and asked to go, and she now hunts and shoots bows. She was/is a muythai and BJJ fighter, I was and am not, but it didn't intimidate me nor did the fact she trains with a lot of guys. We just cared about getting to know each other.

I went to a junior college in NW Kansas for a sport, as didany other inner city and suburban men and women. There was a lot intermingling between ranch/farm/rodeo/country co-eds and the folks from the cities, and it all worked out just fine. Maybe open minds were easier to come by when the pool is only several hundred versus several thousand. Give it a whirl, the second best answer you can hear from someone you ask on a date is a no.

Let's see pics of the knives!

 

[Slugz]

Im gonna make the assumption you may be back east. Its alot different out here in the big square states. Just saying. Good luck. Stay true to what makes you happy and not others.

 

[TFrank]

Don’t waste time with someone you wouldn’t seriously marry. Talk about the things most important too you early with them. If your points of view are too different, don’t waste your time.

This probably flys in the face of todays conventional advice of “don’t talk politics, religion etc..”. But dinking around with someone who has differing view points on serious topics just won’t work.

 

[brookslovesbones]

Lots of good advice here. There is surely not one set path for you to follow to find someone to be with. I agree that you should continue to follow your passions wherever they may take you. Look for opportunities to be social and meet new people who may not be completely like you.

As another said, you could meet someone you get along with great who may not have the same passions and interests as you, but you can share and teach each other about the things you are passionate about and grow with each either in new areas.

Dating is tough these days and things aren’t like they used to be. Be good to yourself and good to others and things will fall into place. I have a lot of friends who got married young. Some are no longer married. Some who are still married (who married young) wish they would have done many things before settling down to start a family. Beware that the grass is always greener on the other side.

Follow your passions and live the life you desire to live. You will meet your person along the way.

Enjoy the journey!


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[KoolBreeze]

Hello! Now that I am in college, I have started trying to get into dating and wondered if y’all would have any advice for me. I am extremely passionate about the outdoors. I also make knives, do taxidermy, and tie flies among other things. These things are my passion and I feel like I am doing what I was made to do when I hunt and spend time outside. The thing is, I have realized that these are hobbies that are more associated with men and that the association of masculine things with me might make it harder for me to find a husband (eventually). I also associate these things with masculinity and a man’s ability to provide. I would love to find a partner who is as passionate about the outdoors as I am. The trouble is, I’m finding that men with these qualities are scarcer than I thought they were and that most of the guys find my interest in these things off putting. I am getting worried that my passion for the outdoors makes me less desirable as a girlfriend/wife and I don’t know what to do about it because these things are a part of me. As women who love the outdoors, what was y’all’s experience with dating and do you have any tips for someone who is new to the dating scene? Also, did you find someone who shared your passion for the outdoors? If so, how did you do it?

Thank you for reading this. I apologize for its length.


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I echo Zapperman's advice. Be YOU and don't let anyone convince you to give up the things you love doing in life.

 

[Wrench]

Dont.

Women are great at many things, but helping you chase your dream isn't typically one of them. I suggest doing the things you want solo first. You may find that your dreams of big western hunts were bigger than reality, or you may not....but you gotta know you first.

It's MUCH easier to give up the excess in your life if you know it to be excess than fighr off the wonder of what might have been.

Somewhere on your journey you'll find that one who you're able to think less about yourself with.... then you'll be well on your way to happiness.

Don't be in a hurry.

 

[Dennis]

Be yourself and stay true to who you are and your passions. Good women just like good men can be hard to find, but they do exist and are worth the wait. I don't think a good man will be intimidated by your love of the outdoors however compatibility, sense of humor, life goals and appearance all go into the mix not just a single interest. I don't think finding some one with the same interests is as important as being open to share and love your time together. I think the real secret is does he make you want to be a better women and do you make him want to be a better man.

I have several granddaughters and nieces that tell me they are struggling to find real men (their words) so you probably aren't alone in your search. I also think like TFrank above stated don't spend dinking around with those you know aren't right for you. The problem is dinking around with the wrong ones might mean the good ones just walk on by.

Good luck and all the best,

 

[Poser]

1. As others have said, do the things you like to do and live the life you want to live. In fact, you’re trajectory should be shaped by the life you desire to live.

2. Don’t chase women. If a woman likes you, she’ll let you know. Putting energy into pursuing women who have little to no interest in you is a very time consuming and low ROI.
You want to date women? Date women who want to date you. You want to get laid? Sleep with women who want to sleep with you. Don’t like your options? Improve yourself and your options will also improve. You’re never going to look back on your life and regret developing and working on things you are passionate about or putting in work to improve yourself and your situation. You might, however, regret wasting this time pursuing women with little interest in you.

3. You’re young and becoming a man, building yourself up, developing your career all takes years. Build yourself up. Discover and develop your purpose. Your 20s are the time to do this. Your 30s are the time to start making career moves -somewhere in this stage of life, where you’ve laid the groundwork and are starting to yield the fruits of your labor is the time to potentially start thinking about getting serious with woman. If you do all of the correctly, you’re options for quality women will be off the chart.

In short: don’t worry about it. Live your life. Pursue excellence. The rest will fall in place around that.

 

[Pickettpuncher]

1. As others have said, do the things you like to do and live the life you want to live. In fact, you’re trajectory should be shaped by the life you desire to live.

2. Don’t chase women. If a woman likes you, she’ll let you know. Putting energy into pursuing women who have little to no interest in you is a very time consuming and low ROI.
You want to date women? Date women who want to date you. You want to get laid? Sleep with women who want to sleep with you. Don’t like your options? Improve yourself and your options will also improve. You’re never going to look back on your life and regret developing and working on things you are passionate about or putting in work to improve yourself and your situation. You might, however, regret wasting this time pursuing women with little interest in you.

3. You’re young and becoming a man, building yourself up, developing your career all takes years. Build yourself up. Discover and develop your purpose. Your 20s are the time to do this. Your 30s are the time to start making career moves -somewhere in this stage of life, where you’ve laid the groundwork and are starting to yield the fruits of your labor is the time to potentially start thinking about getting serious with woman. If you do all of the correctly, you’re options for quality women will be off the chart.

In short: don’t worry about it. Live your life. Pursue excellence. The rest will fall in place around that.

Pretty sure that’s not a guy lol.

 

[Drenalin]

The only advice I would add is not to put too much pressure on yourself. You're presumably young (mentioned being in college now), this is not a time sensitive issue for you at this point. I'm not a woman, but my understanding is y'all worry about this stuff more than men - try not to. If you rush it, I think the odds are better you'll regret where you end up.

 

[Mike Islander]

Join clubs that attract people with similar interests. Archery club. Hunting club if there is one. Ski club often includes at least some hunters. Hiking/outdoors groups. Etc. Can't get to know them if you can't find them.