April is Autism Awareness month

[tuffcity]

The CDC estimates that 1 in 68 children will be diagnosed with some form of Autism Spectrum Disorder. So chances are you know some one who is afflicted. People with ASD range from the severely disabled to highly functional but all still suffer from the social stigma of living with autism. A stigma generally derived from ignorance of the disorder or perceptions of what these people can not do, not what they are capable of.

As a parent of a son with autism I sincerely ask you to read or research a bit about ASD, or, at the very least, show a touch more patience with a child or adult that "acts different" or "just doesn't get it". There might be a valid reason behind their "difference".

Our youngest boy is finishing up his last year in high school and among his diverse interests is hunting and fishing. Up until now he has been able to hunt off my tags under a "junior" licence but when he turns 18 he will have to pass the Hunter Education program so he will be eligible to hold his own licence. We are slowly closing in on that goal.

For a brief insight into the living with autism please have a look at this youtube video my daughter put together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbrEhz3gcQw

My wife and I like to think that our son is an example of what CAN be accomplished with perseverance, patience and a better understanding of ASD, not only by people close but by engaged educators and an informed community at large.

RC

 

[Browtinemt]

Most people don't have a clue what they're even taking for granted, much less the difficulties associated with raising children who need a little extra help. You don't have any idea what a hard life is until you've visited a special needs hospital. I applaud your efforts to bring this to light and encourage everyone to take a step back and breath the next time you feel your patience being tested. These kids and parents have a hard enough life without the degradation, scorn and bullying of the ignorant. Tuffcity, I'll be pulling for your boy and wish the best for all his future endeavors. He seems to have a tremendous foundation at home to overcome whatever is in his path.

 

[a3dhunter]

tuffcity, congrats on his achievements, and yours as parents.
Way to hang in there and live life to the full with what you're given.

 

[DaveC]

Congratulate your son and daughter for me, they did well with that video.

It was a great relief that the DSM-V committee went through with consolidating the previous diagnoses into ASD. Previously, at work we'd have a number of kids come in who didn't fit into the Aspergers, Autism, or PDD NOS criteria, which ended up being a fairly big barrier to services.

 

[Banded_spooney]

I’m revising this thread.

My 4 yo son was diagnosed yesterday. His IQ test shows he’s cognitively several years older than he actually is but scored pretty high (worse off) on the spectrum. Much higher than I anticipated.

I will bust my ass for the rest of my life to make sure he turns into a productive member of society if that’s what it takes. But frankly, I could use a little boost from other guys like me with first hand experience.

Really looking for success stories with your kids (or you??) where they grew into adults that can take care of all their own needs, hold a good job, raise a family, maybe became good hunters?

Unfortunately my sister was not one of those success stories and that’s what I look at as my only example.

 

[Banded_spooney]

The CDC estimates that 1 in 68 children will be diagnosed with some form of Autism Spectrum Disorder. So chances are you know some one who is afflicted. People with ASD range from the severely disabled to highly functional but all still suffer from the social stigma of living with autism. A stigma generally derived from ignorance of the disorder or perceptions of what these people can not do, not what they are capable of.

As a parent of a son with autism I sincerely ask you to read or research a bit about ASD, or, at the very least, show a touch more patience with a child or adult that "acts different" or "just doesn't get it". There might be a valid reason behind their "difference".

Our youngest boy is finishing up his last year in high school and among his diverse interests is hunting and fishing. Up until now he has been able to hunt off my tags under a "junior" licence but when he turns 18 he will have to pass the Hunter Education program so he will be eligible to hold his own licence. We are slowly closing in on that goal.

For a brief insight into the living with autism please have a look at this youtube video my daughter put together.

My wife and I like to think that our son is an example of what CAN be accomplished with perseverance, patience and a better understanding of ASD, not only by people close but by engaged educators and an informed community at large.

RC

Thank you, and thank your kids for the video.

It’s tough to watch, for me at least.

 

[Capphd]

Parents of Autistic children are heroic.

 

[Mosby]

I’m revising this thread.

My 4 yo son was diagnosed yesterday. His IQ test shows he’s cognitively several years older than he actually is but scored pretty high (worse off) on the spectrum. Much higher than I anticipated.

I will bust my ass for the rest of my life to make sure he turns into a productive member of society if that’s what it takes. But frankly, I could use a little boost from other guys like me with first hand experience.

Really looking for success stories with your kids (or you??) where they grew into adults that can take care of all their own needs, hold a good job, raise a family, maybe became good hunters?

Unfortunately my sister was not one of those success stories and that’s what I look at as my only example.

My middle son is autistic. He has an older brother and younger sister. He is almost 30. At 4 he couldn't talk and they told us he would never talk...never read. We would have to raise him as a deaf child with sign language. His brain simply did process language. At 8 he started to repeat words. When he started putting words together we took him back to the "experts" and they didn't know how he was doing it. At 18 he went to the University of Iowa for their Reach program, which a 2 year program for autistic kids.. They live on campus, go to games and class. His room mate at Iowa drives a truck to work and works in his fathers business. He has done well too.

He came home after that and we bought and renovated a older house for him to live independently. He has had a job at a local grocery store for the last 9+ years. Pays his bills, buys groceries, mows his lawn and does his laundry just like everybody else. Does he still need help and support? Yes. The challenges never go away but you learn to adapt and overcome and sometimes simply accept. The world will tell you what your child can't do. Sometimes they are wrong. We have been blessed. Our son has achieved more than anyone ever said he could. You will face a lot of challenges and heart ache and you have to re set expectations and redefine success. One big thing I learned was stop worrying about what others think or say and don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself. It isn't going to change anything. Make every day about him. Accept your son for who he is and don't worry about what he isn't. Keep working with him. reading to him, playing with him and more than anything just be his dad. My son doesn't enjoy hunting or sports and he has never dated but he has a home, a job and a life that he has made for himself and he is happy with what he has achieved. That has been good enough for me. Best of luck to you.

 

[Banded_spooney]

My middle son is autistic. He has an older brother and younger sister. He is almost 30. At 4 he couldn't talk and they told us he would never talk...never read. We would have to raise him as a deaf child with sign language. His brain simply did process language. At 8 he started to repeat words. When he started putting words together we took him back to the "experts" and they didn't know how he was doing it. At 18 he went to the University of Iowa for their Reach program, which a 2 year program for autistic kids.. They live on campus, go to games and class. His room mate at Iowa drives a truck to work and works in his fathers business. He has done well too.

He came home after that and we bought and renovated a older house for him to live independently. He has had a job at a local grocery store for the last 9+ years. Pays his bills, buys groceries, mows his lawn and does his laundry just like everybody else. Does he still need help and support? Yes. The challenges never go away but you learn to adapt and overcome and sometimes simply accept. The world will tell you what your child can't do. Sometimes they are wrong. We have been blessed. Our son has achieved more than anyone ever said he could. You will face a lot of challenges and heart ache and you have to re set expectations and redefine success. One big thing I learned was stop worrying about what others think or say and don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself. It isn't going to change anything. Make every day about him. Accept your son for who he is and don't worry about what he isn't. Keep working with him. reading to him, playing with him and more than anything just be his dad. My son doesn't enjoy hunting or sports and he has never dated but he has a home, a job and a life that he has made for himself and he is happy with what he has achieved. That has been good enough for me. Best of luck to you.

Thanks for sharing

 

[Mosby]

Thanks for sharing.

You bet. Keep your head up.

 

[realunlucky]

My boy is six. He went to university of utah autism program when he was 3. First few minutes in the building I realized we were so very blessed just hadn't realized it. Some parents there would dream their kids would someday would get to where my boy was at day 1 at the u of u. The spectrum is large so it's not a one size fits all approach any more.

After a few years at the "special" school he started 1st grade at the regular elementary school down the street last week. It was a big mile stone, but he no longer gets the attention afforded in a smaller classroom with multiple teaching assistants. It's worrisome but all you can do is control the variables you can and make adjustments for those you don't.

How do you eat an elephant -- one piece at a time!



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[realunlucky]

The challenges never go away but you learn to adapt and overcome and sometimes simply accept.

This really struck a cord with me. Thank you for sharing your experiences.


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[P Carter]

Right there with you guys. My oldest is 10, on the spectrum, took us way too many years of, “man, what are we doing wrong?” before we figured things out. He’s doing well, some things will always be there. But he loves hunting, loves backpacking, loves fighter jets, loves ww ii history, reads the same books I do. Hang in there, all you can do is one day at a time. It helped me to read all I could and start to try and understand behaviors from a “clinical” perspective. Not saying I don’t lose it every once in awhile, but way less than I used to!

 

[5MilesBack]

I never even heard of autism until much later in life, like the 2000's. And even then, there was only one level of autism that I perceived or even knew about, and that was low-functioning autism. I didn't hear about very high-functioning autism until only a couple years ago. Wow, what an eye opener. That explained a lot. Large spectrum.

 

[Banded_spooney]

Right there with you guys. My oldest is 10, on the spectrum, took us way too many years of, “man, what are we doing wrong?” before we figured things out. He’s doing well, some things will always be there. But he loves hunting, loves backpacking, loves fighter jets, loves ww ii history, reads the same books I do. Hang in there, all you can do is one day at a time. It helped me to read all I could and start to try and understand behaviors from a “clinical” perspective. Not saying I don’t lose it every once in awhile, but way less than I used to!

Good to hear you and your son are doing well. Thanks for sharing

 

[Banded_spooney]

My boy is six. He went to university of utah autism program when he was 3. First few minutes in the building I realized we were so very blessed just hadn't realized it. Some parents there would dream their kids would someday would get to where my boy was at day 1 at the u of u. The spectrum is large so it's not a one size fits all approach any more.

After a few years at the "special" school he started 1st grade at the regular elementary school down the street last week. It was a big mile stone, but he no longer gets the attention afforded in a smaller classroom with multiple teaching assistants. It's worrisome but all you can do is control the variables you can and make adjustments for those you don't.

How do you eat an elephant -- one piece at a time!



Sent from my SM-G996U using Tapatalk

My son missed the cutoff to go to the public school by 6 months. I’m sacrificing a hunt to pay for catholic school which actually means he’s a grade ahead but has a class size of 11 kids. The teachers son is on the spectrum so she is empathetic.

Academically it looks like he’ll be able keep up with the older kids. I just hope we didn’t dump him into a social setting too soon. I really hope I made the right choice. Apparently it takes about 10 minutes with a teachers aid after I leave to get him to stop screaming so he can join his classmates. Apparently, other than that and not wanting to use the public restroom he’s doing “okay”. I can’t believe the school is that patient with him. Saints

I’m hopeful we can make it through the year without having to pull him out of school.

 

[realunlucky]

@Banded_spooney I've found that routines and schedules really help my boy identify what he should be doing or when an activity changes.
I stress about social interactions way more than I should , but my boy has very little interest in the other kids. He'd rather sit by himself at lunch or entertain himself at recess. It's a two edge sword as kids can and will be astonishing JERKS to each other. Currently that has zero effect him not sure I'm ready for that to change after trying to help his older siblings navigate that path themselves. I focus (helps me personally feel process is being made) on small victories and hopefully they'll accumulate into him living his best life however that shakes out in the end.

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[jfs82]

@Banded_spooney I work in special education so feel free to ask any questions you may have and I'll help with anything I can.

In CA your child can have an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) from age 3 on (Including if they are not enrolled in public school which may or may not be useful as private schools do not need to follow them legally like public or non public schools do). This plan spells out social and academic goals, supports, services and accommodations that public school would be bound to legally. There are yearly meetings updating goals for progress and determining new goals and service levels etc.

It may be worth going through this process to get a deeper understanding of strengths and weaknesses for your son. Occupational therapy, speech and language are common needs for students on the spectrum and not that many private schools have those options. It provides options at least.

Side note... You can have your local school district do any and all testing for anything special education related, don't do any it on your own dime.

 

[P Carter]

My son missed the cutoff to go to the public school by 6 months. I’m sacrificing a hunt to pay for catholic school which actually means he’s a grade ahead but has a class size of 11 kids. The teachers son is on the spectrum so she is empathetic.

Academically it looks like he’ll be able keep up with the older kids. I just hope we didn’t dump him into a social setting too soon. I really hope I made the right choice. Apparently it takes about 10 minutes with a teachers aid after I leave to get him to stop screaming so he can join his classmates. Apparently, other than that and not wanting to use the public restroom he’s doing “okay”. I can’t believe the school is that patient with him. Saints

I’m hopeful we can make it through the year without having to pull him out of school.

We have ours in Catholic school too. It’s a tough decision—we like the school but no IEP or special resources. As far as making the “right decision”—unjust keep telling myself that all we can do is make the best decision we can with the facts known at the time. Beating yourself up doesn’t do any good; so many of these things are judgment calls and you don’t control the outcome. It’ll be an evolving process that’ll probably never stop. So keep plugging away!

 

[Shraggs]

My wife works for a very unique home for severe autistic adults. As noted the Spectrum is very broad - this tends to specialize in folks that are harmful to others, usually seems to be a mother. The 24 hour care and education is something to behold. Care givers and educators deserve so much gratitude for their patience and persistence, imo.

We have two boys with Down syndrome, it’s such a parenting challenge, educational, social, medical, financial and avoidance of them etc - but I know in the end I am a much much better person than before. My wife and feel parents with autistic children often have an additional burden due to commutation challenges.