Career Change Thoughts?

[Anglo-American]

I'm 34. Married. 4 kids (11years, 6years, 2years, 1 month). I have had my current career for 10 years this september. I climbed the ladder at previous company for 7.5 years. Got recruited by another company that split off and have been here for the past 2.5 years. I am topped out in my field. Making more money than I hoped for (not crazy money, i just had low goals!). Only way i could advance is to move to a management position and I don't believe that interests me. I moved up to management in the old company, which was the goal, only to realize that i had no interest in managing people. I just wanted the pay increase. I am incredibly burned out and would be happy to never do this job another day. I commute 75 miles each way so that I can keep my family in the small town and schools. I am gone most of the day most days. I get up for work at 430 am most days and frequently get home after 5 oclock. 7,8,9 o'clock not being uncommon. Even if they could get my schedule really dialed in and I could be home at a reasonable time every day, I'm just not sure I can keep doing this for the rest of my life. I feel like i'm really far invested in this career path to just abandon it. But at the same time, every day i wait is a day that could be invested in something else. My job is pretty unique. Not a lot of positions like mine. If I leave, I wil be replaced and I couldn't be just like hey this didn't work out I think I will go back to what I was doing. My degree is pretty job specific. Not interested in going back to school, if it were even possible. I am the only bread winner.

Thoughts/Advise? Suck it up and be glad I have a job that pays good money, even if I am miserable and hardly home? Try to find something else to do that I could be less miserable and home more? It gets hard to tell the wife that I am going to hunt out of state for a week or two when some weeks they hardly see me as is. Even hunting local, i feel bad for not being with them on the weekend after being gone all week.

Is not dreading your job a pipe dream?

Tell me about those who have taken the leap and made a change. The good and the bad.

That day is to long to not burn out.
Kids never seeing their farther is a bad move IMO.
Any of those kids daughters?
Do you know what often happens to daughters who don't get enough of their fathers attention?!!
- all mine are girls btw.

You need to reduce the length of your work day.
Having a couple of long days or weeks throughout the year is fine, but those hours consistently is to much.

Your commute is way to long to be permanent.

So either you move house, or move jobs.

In terms of schooling, homeschooling is always a great option that most people don't consider.

 

[BigDawgWill44]

I have kind of a different take on this, unless you are making well over six figures I’d say find something else immediately because the job market is so hot you may never have a better opportunity then now. If you are making big money that changes the equation, move closer and suck it up for your family.


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[Sherman]

If you are fit and want to work outdoors, go to a few of the local Union halls and get an apprenticeship to learn a trade. I am a union lineman, love my job, and make more than my family members with masters degrees in various fields. I am now a foreman on a line crew for a major utility. Great pay, benefits, retirement, time off, Monday thru Friday 7:00-3:30. One apprentices right now is almost 40, out of shape, but works his ass off. It’s never too late. There are many different unions that offer different apprenticeships in different fields.

 

[roadrunner]

Suck it up and be glad I have a job that pays good money

That would be the biggest mistake you could make at your age. Sucking it up only applies for short stints of anything and is never long term.

What is available elsewhere in a similar setting? Sometimes relocating is what us necessary to achieve the changes you seek...

 

[BLJ]

I'm in a similar situation as the OP. Thanks to all. I will be watching this one.

 

[Rich M]

Nothing wrong with making a career change. Your management experience is valuable and can be applied to other jobs. If you don't like management - that's another story.

Would you mind the job if you worked closer to home? Had less travel time? That would be solved by moving closer to work, or maybe by going back to old company.

Without knowing what you do, but you say it is a limited field with specific education... You could drop back into a worker-bee position at your old job to be closer to home and have more time w family, just less money.

 

[fngTony]

Are you living the small town lifestyle or just existing in it? Have you asked your wife what she wants? Have you asked yourselves what you want five years from now?

90% of my misery comes from not considering the near future. Since I’ve been better about that it has become much easier to continue (for now) my job.

 

[WoodBow]

Thanks for all the replies. I read every one of them.

Some more info.

We do not have much debt. We owe 58k on our house. Wifes car is a lease. I owe about 20k on a brand new truck. That's it. No credit card nonsense. We pay an extra 25% to principal on the house every month. I'm on pace to make 140k this year. We got by just fine when I was making 85k. But 140 sure gives you more wiggle room and let's you start saving. We have enough cash to get by for 6 months if I had to. But I am not a risk taker in general. There is a 0% chance I would quit my job without having already gotten another one.

What I like to do is repair things and build things. Just need to figure out how to make similar money doing that. The firemen schedule has a lot of appeal to me. I have lots of fireman friends. But the actual job does not interest me at all.

I live in a town of 3500 people. Wife and I were born and raised here. Both of our families are within 2 miles of us. We have good relationships with them. I do not see us ever living in the city. I work in the medical field so city is pretty necessary for work. I would not live within about 45 mins of the areas I currently work. Seems silly to uproot my family to shave 30 mins off a commute each way. It helps some that I get up so early to go to work. I feel like that is just my time wasted. Everyone else is asleep.

Mental fatigue is the real problem. I just don't have much left for the wife and kids when I get home. Which is not ok.

Changing schedule is somewhat out of my control. I do not have a normal job. I am salary plus bonus. I do not get paid overtime. I'm frequently on the losing end of that but the bonus makes up for it mostly.

I'm terrified of changing jobs only to realize that I'm not happy there either. I feel like I was happier when I had hope of things improving. I was always chasing the next step. Then I got to the end of the rainbow and was like this is it? Now what?

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[fngTony]

Thanks for all the replies. I read every one of them.

Some more info.

We do not have much debt. We owe 58k on our house. Wifes car is a lease. I owe about 20k on a brand new truck. That's it. No credit card nonsense. We pay an extra 25% to principal on the house every month. I'm on pace to make 140k this year. We got by just fine when I was making 85k. But 140 sure gives you more wiggle room and let's you start saving. We have enough cash to get by for 6 months if I had to. But I am not a risk taker in general. There is a 0% chance I would quit my job without having already gotten another one.

What I like to do is repair things and build things. Just need to figure out how to make similar money doing that. The firemen schedule has a lot of appeal to me. I have lots of fireman friends. But the actual job does not interest me at all.

I live in a town of 3500 people. Wife and I were born and raised here. Both of our families are within 2 miles of us. We have good relationships with them. I do not see us ever living in the city. I work in the medical field so city is pretty necessary for work. I would not live within about 45 mins of the areas I currently work. Seems silly to uproot my family to shave 30 mins off a commute each way. It helps some that I get up so early to go to work. I feel like that is just my time wasted. Everyone else is asleep.

Mental fatigue is the real problem. I just don't have much left for the wife and kids when I get home. Which is not ok.

Changing schedule is somewhat out of my control. I do not have a normal job. I am salary plus bonus. I do not get paid overtime. I'm frequently on the losing end of that but the bonus makes up for it mostly.

I'm terrified of changing jobs only to realize that I'm not happy there either. I feel like I was happier when I had hope of things improving. I was always chasing the next step. Then I got to the end of the rainbow and was like this is it? Now what?

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You make way more money than most Americans but your household income is closer to average. Building and fixing things generally won’t pay that (not on average but certainly possible). Your kids are young. IMO too young to expect your wife to get a job just so you can take a massive pay cut. With all that family near by is there any assistance available?

Take the “repair and build things” and make a plan to get into a job doing that. STAY AWAY FROM AUTOMOTIVE!!!!

Short term plan, what kind of jobs can you do for that $85k that don’t cause the mental fatigue? Do that while working towards something more desirable.

 

[isu22andy]

Not sure what position your in , but isnt most of the medical field pretty flexible , especially if you throw the mental health card in there lap ? If it were me id talk to your HR or something, for starters try to get friday off, or work a 7-3:30 and thats it - no if ands and buts. If it doesnt help or fix your position - bail . You are overworked right now .

 

[Maverick1]

To the O.P.:

It is great to see that you recognize the situation you are in and that you are planning ahead. Having a good plan in place is important before making a change, given your situation.

That being said…..something has got to change. Your job is becoming your life. What are you working for? A wife and kids that you never get to spend time with? To make more money - to buy things you can’t actually have the time to use? Working 8, 10, 12 hour workdays, on a regular basis, with little to no time or energy to spend with your wife or kids?

Life is short. Nobody ever said on their deathbed “gee, I wish I would have worked more.”

Good luck!

 

[Kilboars]

Start a side business on your own work at it nights and weekends while you have a full-time job paying the bills. And work towards your business paying all the bills


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[WoodBow]

Start a side business on your own work at it nights and weekends while you have a full-time job paying the bills. And work towards your business paying all the bills


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This has crossed my mind as well. I like the idea if growing a business while your income is secure, until you don't need the old income anymore. Would also probably help me mentally to be working towards change.

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[Rich M]

6 digits is difficult to hit with most careers. That's a good income for family, saving for the future, and letting your wife be a housewife.

One thing I learned getting MBA degree - if you are making $100K switch to a job at $60K, you've lost $40K and you're not getting it back. Forget what they call it - actualized income or something like that. Wife and I went from $90K between the 2 of us to $45K when we started business, that died during recession in it's 5th year (45K x 5 = $225K of lost potential, more if there were raises).

That's why I'm where I am and work whatever hours and days are necessary to keep clients happy (16th consecutive day at work today) - I don't have the commute or kids - need the income to allow for saving enough to retire.

Think carefully about dropping a significant level of income. $140K to $85K is $55K, which is a decent income for some and more than some make.

Consider moving, get a financial adviser and invest the extra $50K every year - retire early (if you save $50K per year for 20 yrs it is $1 mil - interest on that would likely double it). Or lose $50-$60K a year and struggle a bit more trying to figure out how to retire later on.

Ultimately it's all up to you - wish you the best.

 

[WoodBow]

6 digits is difficult to hit with most careers. That's a good income for family, saving for the future, and letting your wife be a housewife.

One thing I learned getting MBA degree - if you are making $100K switch to a job at $60K, you've lost $40K and you're not getting it back. Forget what they call it - actualized income or something like that. Wife and I went from $90K between the 2 of us to $45K when we started business, that died during recession in it's 5th year (45K x 5 = $225K of lost potential, more if there were raises).

That's why I'm where I am and work whatever hours and days are necessary to keep clients happy (16th consecutive day at work today) - I don't have the commute or kids - need the income to allow for saving enough to retire.

Think carefully about dropping a significant level of income. $140K to $85K is $55K, which is a decent income for some and more than some make.

Consider moving, get a financial adviser and invest the extra $50K every year - retire early (if you save $50K per year for 20 yrs it is $1 mil - interest on that would likely double it). Or lose $50-$60K a year and struggle a bit more trying to figure out how to retire later on.

Ultimately it's all up to you - wish you the best.

Good thoughts. I keep going back to the fact that I worked really hard to get here and walked through the doors that God opened. Seems foolish to start all over in hopes of having the same success again. There is hope of some change in my schedule at the end of the year. I'm going to try to stay positive and get to that. There is potential to get to 8 hour days total, including my commute time. It was that way at the end of my time with the old company. But they paid me significantly less, primarily due to a much less lucrative bonus structure. New company knew I was happy there and it would take money to get me. The most efficient way possible, my earning potential for the company could increase as much as 60% over now, even with me being at work only 5 hours a day. But it isn't that simple. Lots of moving parts and variables. But we could all make a lot more money if we got it all sorted out. Praying God will open another door if it is time to go.

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[Deadfall]

What will your thoughts be when you laying on your death bed?

Wish I would of spent more time with family, made less money with more memories?

Life is awful short to let money fear con you into missing life

 

[Wallace]

I'm in a somewhat similar situation, but I decided what I wanted to do.

I have a good job, making great money, I make my own schedule, I essentially own my company (contract sales). I get burned out on the sales cycle and closing deals to make the great money mentioned above (I'm in a COVID hit industry, that didn't help stress). I told myself I have it a lot better than pretty much everyone I know, quit complaining, and start growing passive income on the side.

I got into house flipping, rentals, and shortly I should have a couple of short term rental properties. My goal is to have around $50k+ in passive income annually within the next 5 years. That will allow me to scale back on my sales and relax more. I also started a side business, that's very similar to the contract work I do that utilizes the same clients, all that money will go towards real estate for the most part.

You said you're in health care. I'd look into medical sales. You can make a lot of money if you're good at it, and once you're good at it, you can basically make your own schedule as long as you're hitting quota.

 

[dtrkyman]

I have no kids so take this for what it is, but I say go for it. You sound like a smart reasonable person and would likely figure it out!

 

[Rich M]

What will your thoughts be when you laying on your death bed?

Wish I would of spent more time with family, made less money with more memories?

Life is awful short to let money fear con you into missing life

You make a good point. There is a balance and that's what he's trying to achieve.

A lot of guys misuse that philosophy you mention. Life/work balance is very important. There is a balance and most people never consider the "stuff" that happens in life. Folks need to sacrifice some to ensure their financial survival. You either suffer now or you suffer later - suffer a little by maxing out your 401K from age of 24 thru retirement, or maybe not have enough.

Based on my experience of losing everything to medical issues, losing a company, moving 500 miles to take another job and having that go belly up in 5 months (all this happened in a 2 yr period during the 2008-2010 recession), If anyone ever asks me about finances or money - the answer is to make hay when the sun shines and get it into the barn. If you got enough in the barn when you need it - you win. If not, you go and work twice as hard trying to recoup.

 

[coyotecreek]

You are only 34 so still plenty of time to do something different as you have a lot of working years ahead of you.

I would put the priority on spending time with your kids. If it means having a smaller house, older vehicle, and fewer toys, but more time to spend with my kids I know which one I would choose. You only get so much time with them at home. In 7 years your 11 year old will graduate.

You can always make more money, but you can never get those years back with your kids.