Career Change Thoughts?

Felix1776

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
Dec 3, 2015
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204
Location
Colorado
This has crossed my mind as well. I like the idea if growing a business while your income is secure, until you don't need the old income anymore. Would also probably help me mentally to be working towards change.

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I'm not going to tell you NOT to start a side business, but think long and hard before you do.

I've been suffering from some career dissatisfaction for several years. I have a pretty good job with a good company, decent money, pretty good benefits, good schedule, paid holidays off, 401k, they pretty well leave me alone, etc, but my job is fairly boring and unfulfilling. I've wanted to get out of it for a while but overall I feel like I just have it too good to quit just because.

My wife is a self employed entrepreneur. She started her own business about 5 years ago and is doing really well with it. She was able to quit her corporate gig and go full time. After her success, she had been on me for years to start my own business. I resisted this for several years as I just wasn't really interested in it and then eventually convinced myself that a side business would fix all of my problems and make me a decent amount of extra cash.

So, last winter I got to work on it. Spent about $15k getting the business up and running. Equipment, website, business phone, insurance, some marketing. The whole deal. I got about two months into it and realized what I had done. Now, not only am I worried about and stressed about my 9-5. Now, I'm also worried about and stressed about my side business. I quickly realized how much time and effort was going to be involved in doing things the right way and making it successful. No time for myself. No hunting, no fishing, no camping, no hiking. Less time with the wifey. Less time with the family, etc. It was a real wake up call.

So, this past summer, I should have been out on evenings and especially weekends marketing, drumming up business, and completing the work that resulted from it. But there were constant conflicts between personal time (fun stuff: weekend trips with the wife, vacation, out of state wedding, family cookouts, etc.) and doing side business stuff and pretty much every time, the personal time won out. The problem is the whole time I'm doing personal stuff, I'm not getting work for the side business and the expenses keep rolling, which causes even more stress, which makes the personal stuff less enjoyable. I haven't done a job in two months and the phone has stopped ringing and this thing is now nickle and diming me to death.

Hunting season is here now and winter is right around the corner so I wouldn't be doing any side work during colder months anyways. I now have to really evaluate whether I want to keep it going or not. If I do, I've got a ton of work to do. If not, I close shop, sell off what I can, and probably lose several thousand dollars in the process. Maybe an expensive lesson learned. Not sure yet.

Like others have said, at the end of the line, nobody wishes they had worked more. I think a lot about all the experiences and memories I've missed and continue to miss by working so much. Maybe I already have my answer and just not willing to admit it yet.

Either way, sorry for the long post. Hopefully this helps.
 
Joined
May 10, 2015
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Timberline
I know this goes against conventional wisdom, but don't let (extended) family get in the way of your happiness. Their situation is different and may very well be content with what they have and where they are in life. If you need to uproot and relocate, don't discount that option...
 

RemiR7

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
Dec 7, 2018
Messages
237
32 years old, married, 2 boys. Had this dilemma a year ago. Spent 7.5 years in my last job, established myself, money was good, time-off, benefits you name it. People I worked with were awesome. Personally I was miserable. Driving 50 min one way, no satisfaction from the job, just as I got older it wasn’t for me. Pondered law enforcement for years with a few friends being state troopers and hearing there stories, I was attracted to it. I had the background for it and the personally type to do the job. Made the switch. I now drove 5 miles to work, make a little less money annually starting off, bottom off the totem pole again. But I come home everyday happier, being able to help people on sometimes what could be their worst day. I found the job that gives me a purpose and satisfaction. Your never too old to do something you want. The longer you wait the more regret you’ll it. Everyone Has their coulda shoulda woulda story it seems. Don’t be that guy. My wife and family supported me. My wife now loves the fact that I’m closer to home for work, I come home regardless of how night went with a smile and it’s made the family life better.

my only regret....bottom of the barrel on seniority and haven’t qualified for time off yet which means no out of state trips for me this year. It’ll come in due time.

Don’t live with regret. Make the leap.

kevin,
 

CJohnson

WKR
Joined
Mar 28, 2019
Messages
308
Location
SC
There are some great recommendations above. I'll share a little of my current situation. I'm 32 with 2-1/2 kids (5, 3, one coming in November). I have the exact same fears about my job. Stagnation, no room for growth.

I think most hard-working people under estimate how valuable they are to a company, especially right now. Where I live in SC, everyone who wants a job has one. All the good people are moving into the positions they want and getting the pay they want. I don't know what your job is specifically, or where you are located, but I think that if you are valuable part of your team you shouldn't be afraid to negotiate. Ask for a different schedule, reduced hours with the same pay, adjustment to the pay structure, etc. I recently asked to go to part-time so I could take my kids to school and spend some time with them during the upcoming hunting seasons and my boss wasn't thrilled about it. But, he knew that he was going to get more out of me with part-time work than he would trying to hire and train someone new. I also have a pretty healthy stash saved up, so I would've been fine with him firing me on the spot.

Do what's best for your family. There's certainly a balance. Your kids need a roof over their head and food on the table, but they also need to spend time with their dad.
 

downthepipe

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
Dec 21, 2015
Messages
226
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SW IDAHO
Get a job in town or closer to town. Enjoy your kids while they are younger than 15. When they hit 15 and start to have their own lives, you go back to working in the city.

Other out of the box ideas are figure out a way to make your commute better - commute with someone, talk to your kids while you are driving, etc. make it a monthly occurrence where your wife or a kid commute with you - just figure out an excuse for them to go into the city. Just mix things up.

Make sure you are using all of your PTO. If your kid has an important school event after school, you better make it there… that will bring you joy.
 

Scoot

WKR
Joined
Nov 13, 2012
Messages
1,521
...a lot of wisdom in the posts above... Good luck with the decision. My suggestion- figure out how to spend as much time with your kids while they are kids. Oh... and listen to "Cat's in the Cradle" a time or two. :)
 

KsRancher

WKR
Joined
Jun 6, 2018
Messages
542
...a lot of wisdom in the posts above... Good luck with the decision. My suggestion- figure out how to spend as much time with your kids while they are kids. Oh... and listen to "Cat's in the Cradle" a time or two. :)
This is probably going to cost me my current job. I am currently making $26.50/hr and the average wage in my area is around $14/hr. But I really am not to worried about it. My son is running cross country and track and I plan on making most if not all the meets. My boss sees sports as a waste of time. He doesn't let his son play sports cause he won't go to the games if he has to leave work to do it. If it cost me my job going to the meets. Then I will be working a $14/hr job and going to the meets. And be DANG glad I am watching him.
 

Scoot

WKR
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Nov 13, 2012
Messages
1,521
It's all about priorities! Sounds to me like yours are in the right place, KS.
 

legend921

FNG
Joined
Feb 25, 2020
Messages
59
I just hit 40, two young kids, 5 and 3. This past spring I decided to leave a pretty good paying job driving an hour each way for a pay cut to get back into the tech industry and work full time remote.

My wife and I talked it over and decided the change would be good. We’ve been focusing more on our finances and how we spend but it was the best move I could’ve made. I’m less stressed and am able to see my kids a lot more. I actually feel like I have a life and am living it pretty well now.
 
Joined
Oct 26, 2018
Messages
709
Location
Mid valley,Oregon
I’m in this similar situation. Been in union construction for 27 years started after dropping out of high school was and still am really competitive at work and broke my back to work my way up to journeyman, lead man, foreman then senior foreman (my current position for the last 19 years). There seems to be no way for me to get out of leading by example in my field and the only job in my trade to get out of daily hard physical labor is a desk job that I’m not built for(project management, Superintendant). I'm currently 45 and my body is starting to fight back against me. I was the breadwinner for most of my life and make 100k a year with good perks like company truck, gas, phone plus union benefits pension, health,dental, etc I could make 20k more if I chose to work instead of have any life at all. but it’s typically 75 min drive in the am and 90+ on the way home depending on traffic. During the spring, summer and early fall I work lots of 10+ hour days and 6-7 day weeks. in the rainy season I have lots of days off and can and do take 4-6 weeks off annually for family vacation and hunting trips with no issues. My first round of kids 3 boys and a girl are all grown and out of the house 24-19. Been through a divorce and now remarried with a 5 year old surprise 🤯 son. I’m currently at my 4th union shop 15 years at first 6 years at second then 2 years at the third now 4 years with the fourth. I have left shops for greener pastures and promises but the different shops all have their positives and negatives but overall they are more similar than different. In the end I see from my perspective in the construction industry that great workers in the field are the limiting factor in each companies growth/ success and the toughest thing to find and keep. All that said I had told myself I was going to quit my current occupation at 40 and start a second career but the new marriage and son put that on hold. Ive been burned out of the work and especially the drive for many years now. I just need to take the leap of faith and have recently started looking at other careers but weighing the options it’s a tough leap. I can’t collect a full pension from my union until 60 could do early retirement at 55 but the meager pension takes a big hit.
 

fngTony

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I’m in this similar situation. Been in union construction for 27 years started after dropping out of high school was and still am really competitive at work and broke my back to work my way up to journeyman, lead man, foreman then senior foreman (my current position for the last 19 years). There seems to be no way for me to get out of leading by example in my field and the only job in my trade to get out of daily hard physical labor is a desk job that I’m not built for(project management, Superintendant). I'm currently 45 and my body is starting to fight back against me. I was the breadwinner for most of my life and make 100k a year with good perks like company truck, gas, phone plus union benefits pension, health,dental, etc I could make 20k more if I chose to work instead of have any life at all. but it’s typically 75 min drive in the am and 90+ on the way home depending on traffic. During the spring, summer and early fall I work lots of 10+ hour days and 6-7 day weeks. in the rainy season I have lots of days off and can and do take 4-6 weeks off annually for family vacation and hunting trips with no issues. My first round of kids 3 boys and a girl are all grown and out of the house 24-19. Been through a divorce and now remarried with a 5 year old surprise 🤯 son. I’m currently at my 4th union shop 15 years at first 6 years at second then 2 years at the third now 4 years with the fourth. I have left shops for greener pastures and promises but the different shops all have their positives and negatives but overall they are more similar than different. In the end I see from my perspective in the construction industry that great workers in the field are the limiting factor in each companies growth/ success and the toughest thing to find and keep. All that said I had told myself I was going to quit my current occupation at 40 and start a second career but the new marriage and son put that on hold. Ive been burned out of the work and especially the drive for many years now. I just need to take the leap of faith and have recently started looking at other careers but weighing the options it’s a tough leap. I can’t collect a full pension from my union until 60 could do early retirement at 55 but the meager pension takes a big hit.
Can you take a pay cut? What happens to your pension if you leave your field/union for something else until you turn 60?
 
Joined
Oct 2, 2016
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2,651
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West Virginia
Family is what is important. Money is nice too.

I graduated from WVU with a Forestry Resources Management degree in the 90’s. I spent 20 years moving from job to job. Pay wasn’t the best so I kept taking better pay. I finally hired on for a company close to where I was raised. For the money that was fair to both the employer and employee. It didn’t hurt it was a 6 figure job. It needed to be because the time it took to do it correctly deserved that compensation.

I was conned into leaving that company by a much bigger company that wanted a concentration yard for their resource needs. Pulpwood, peeler logs, and pine logs. I started a hardwood log purchasing program as well.

I’ll save you the bore and me the irritation by just saying that didn’t work out very well. And after 4 years of struggle I can’t describe, I got my business bank account back to the positive and sold out. Walked out with $1208 in my pocket.

I started a lawn and landscaping business. Plus, got my contractors license. I grew up driving nails as my dads whole family was contractors. Since doing so, the contracting business has far surpassed the lawn care side. I finally parked everything this spring past due to incompetent labor. It was costing me more to maintain crew and equipment then it was making.

I’ve since dedicated ever effort to the contracting side of things. I’m making it pretty well. I can buy what I want, when I want. I don’t do that but, the money is great at times. However, you learn real quick it isn’t all good or everyone would be doing it.

it’s a job. It’s my job and my business. I get the good and the bad. I’m not suggesting you go self employed. Only saying find the best job you can with family needs involved in the decision. It’s not too late to do so. I did all this in my 40’s.


Do what makes you happy. And, prioritize time with your kids. You only get one chance to get that right. Don’t end up regretting it because you didn’t do it. You’ll figure out a way to make it on the money you make. Whatever that might be. Whatever you do, family comes first. Everything else will work out if you put trust in the Lord.
 
OP
WoodBow

WoodBow

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Jul 21, 2015
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I'm currently at peace with it. I feel blessed to make the money I make. I feel firmly that I am where God wants me. He has moved me every single move that was made to get me here. All I did was keep showing up and working hard. So current plan is to stay where I am until He moves me.

For what it is worth, I also decided to all but stop drinking. It cleared my head a lot.

I still hate my alarm going off at 0430. I still hate the long commute. I still hate when I have long days. But I'd probably eventually hate the next job too.

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Joined
Mar 16, 2021
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Western Iowa
Nothing else to add that others haven't already said, except don't let your pride force you into a bad decision. My Dad did that when we were kids and its something he always regretted. Cost him a 50K/year banking job in the 80s and caused our family to declare bankruptcy. It all worked out in the end, but it was a VERY hard lesson to learn for all of us.

Be deliberate, plan, plan, and plan some more. With the responsibilities you have you cannot afford to do anything half-cocked. Have several contingency plans ready to execute if you have to. For example, if you make a change and it doesn't work out, are there available (and are you willing) to work a couple less than ideal jobs to make sure your bills stay paid and your lifestyle doesn't suffer? Weigh all the risks before taking the plunge and keep wearing a smile (fake it to make it) until you are confident you can walk away.
 
Joined
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Messages
2,848
Location
Western Iowa
I'm currently at peace with it. I feel blessed to make the money I make. I feel firmly that I am where God wants me. He has moved me every single move that was made to get me here. All I did was keep showing up and working hard. So current plan is to stay where I am until He moves me.

For what it is worth, I also decided to all but stop drinking. It cleared my head a lot.

I still hate my alarm going off at 0430. I still hate the long commute. I still hate when I have long days. But I'd probably eventually hate the next job too.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk
If there is one thing I highly recommend you do, it would be to negotiate work from home at least a couple days per week. If this is an absolute "no", then see if there is a rideshare group you can join. I had the same commute for 10 years, and started doing rideshare the last 3. Although the commute time didn't change, I was able to work from the van in the morning and after work and this saved not only time away from my family when I got home, but also helped me de-stress before I got home.

If you need resources to help you negotiate on the commute, there are numerous studies online that show the detrimental effects long commutes have on absenteeism, productivity, and personal injury. If the company values you as a colleague, they may consider a proposal if you take the time to do the research and develop the case.
 
Joined
Oct 26, 2018
Messages
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Mid valley,Oregon
Can you take a pay cut? What happens to your pension if you leave your field/union for something else until you turn 60?
I can definitely take a pay cut. I need the time to live life more than the money at this point. I’m not wealthy but have limited debt. I can start a second career in any field as long as it’s not a non union roofing job and won’t affect my meager pension. The issue I’m grappling with is weighing the pros and cons especially the biggest pro is the freedom i get to take a week off in May, a week in September, 2 weeks off in October a week in November plus lots of winter days are too wet to work. 😩🧐🤔. Big life changing decisions are very difficult
 

fngTony

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I can definitely take a pay cut. I need the time to live life more than the money at this point. I’m not wealthy but have limited debt. I can start a second career in any field as long as it’s not a non union roofing job and won’t affect my meager pension. The issue I’m grappling with is weighing the pros and cons especially the biggest pro is the freedom i get to take a week off in May, a week in September, 2 weeks off in October a week in November plus lots of winter days are too wet to work. 😩🧐🤔. Big life changing decisions are very difficult
I don’t think you will be able to retain that kind of time off, not initially anyway. Do you have a bottom dollar that you need to make? If so start googling what jobs pay that then see which ones have the easiest path of entry.
 
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