- Banned
- #41
Where's Bruce?
WKR
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2013
- Messages
- 6,389
Dallas is a bit too cosmopolitan but FW is nice. Last time I was there I watched as a big ole cougar stalked me. I retreated to an elevated location...big mistake. She came right up and was only two feet away. Was seeking shelter from her in the upstairs cigar bar at Del Friscos at the time.
So one of my companies was exhibiting at the annual Fiery Food Show in Fort Worth and on one side of our exhibit was a Texan dressed in black cowboy hat, jeans and boots…looked like he just belonged on a ranch. He told us Dallas had become too cosmopolitan for his tastes and Ft. Worth was heading that direction. On the other side of our booth is this guy from California wearing a huge white cowboy hat, red plaid shirt, bandana and designer jeans and looked like a missing member of the Village People.
So as the show is winding down the Texas exhibitor in the booth next to us asks us if we’d like to visit his ranch. I’m like “Sure!” cuz in my head I’m thinking I might wanna hunt there sometime and I need to make friends with this guy, he’s gotta ranch. Then he extends the same invitation to the California cowboy in the booth next to us. He says yes too. So right after the show closes at 5pm we head to this guys property. It’s summer and won’t get dark for hours.
When we arrive we learn his ranch-hand has already saddled up some horses for us. Not just any horses either but cutting horses (also called push button horses) and lemme tell ya, these suckers react to the slightest heel. Wished I was wearing a jockstrap and cup cuz my horse when from zero to Mach 4 in a nanosecond. Note to self, cutting horses cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and kicking em is like asking for G force.
Anyway we’re tooling around this immense property complete with rolling hill pastures, wide streams fed by the Trinity River, beautiful forested areas…just a real nice 9000+ acre ranch. We’re following a fence line when we hear a strange sound and just around the bend we discover a large sheep that’s managed to somehow get its head stuck in the fence gate. It’s baying up a storm, distressed, obviously tiring and appears to have been trapped there for some time.
So I thought nothing of it when the Texan gets down off his horse and walks over to the sheep but am awestruck when, instead of releasing it he drops trough and starts giving it to the sheep. “Mutton lovin’” he calls it. It was surreal. I’m sitting on this damn horse dumbstruck…just watching and not knowing what to do. I musta looked like an idiot…an idiot on a horse. Flashes of a Tijuana stage show are flashing through my head from when I thought getting drunk at 18 in TJ was a good idea.
So this guy finishes, pulls up his drawers, looks at us and asks, “Ya wanna give ‘er a go?”
What?! Did this guy just ask me if I was schtup his farm animal? Am I dreaming this?
Before I can even begin to imagine an appropriate response the California cowboy gleefully replies “Hell yeah!”, hops down off his horse, removes his big dumb white hat, walks over and sticks his head in the fence.
So one of my companies was exhibiting at the annual Fiery Food Show in Fort Worth and on one side of our exhibit was a Texan dressed in black cowboy hat, jeans and boots…looked like he just belonged on a ranch. He told us Dallas had become too cosmopolitan for his tastes and Ft. Worth was heading that direction. On the other side of our booth is this guy from California wearing a huge white cowboy hat, red plaid shirt, bandana and designer jeans and looked like a missing member of the Village People.
So as the show is winding down the Texas exhibitor in the booth next to us asks us if we’d like to visit his ranch. I’m like “Sure!” cuz in my head I’m thinking I might wanna hunt there sometime and I need to make friends with this guy, he’s gotta ranch. Then he extends the same invitation to the California cowboy in the booth next to us. He says yes too. So right after the show closes at 5pm we head to this guys property. It’s summer and won’t get dark for hours.
When we arrive we learn his ranch-hand has already saddled up some horses for us. Not just any horses either but cutting horses (also called push button horses) and lemme tell ya, these suckers react to the slightest heel. Wished I was wearing a jockstrap and cup cuz my horse when from zero to Mach 4 in a nanosecond. Note to self, cutting horses cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and kicking em is like asking for G force.
Anyway we’re tooling around this immense property complete with rolling hill pastures, wide streams fed by the Trinity River, beautiful forested areas…just a real nice 9000+ acre ranch. We’re following a fence line when we hear a strange sound and just around the bend we discover a large sheep that’s managed to somehow get its head stuck in the fence gate. It’s baying up a storm, distressed, obviously tiring and appears to have been trapped there for some time.
So I thought nothing of it when the Texan gets down off his horse and walks over to the sheep but am awestruck when, instead of releasing it he drops trough and starts giving it to the sheep. “Mutton lovin’” he calls it. It was surreal. I’m sitting on this damn horse dumbstruck…just watching and not knowing what to do. I musta looked like an idiot…an idiot on a horse. Flashes of a Tijuana stage show are flashing through my head from when I thought getting drunk at 18 in TJ was a good idea.
So this guy finishes, pulls up his drawers, looks at us and asks, “Ya wanna give ‘er a go?”
What?! Did this guy just ask me if I was schtup his farm animal? Am I dreaming this?
Before I can even begin to imagine an appropriate response the California cowboy gleefully replies “Hell yeah!”, hops down off his horse, removes his big dumb white hat, walks over and sticks his head in the fence.
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