Deals so hot they'll melt your face off! Kuiu, MR, Vortex, more!

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Burnt Reynolds

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We're back open and slashing prices like Freddy Krueger in a sorority! All of my merchandise has been sprayed with a special coating of good luck juice - this is no ordinary good luck juice either; it's a special blend of panther blood & lion milk. Not the easiest ingredients to acquire but worth it for my fellow Roksliders!
 
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Burnt Reynolds

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Ya got me on the edge of my seat, unusual for a classified thread that I'm not interested in buying anything. What an exciting life I have😰.

Don't be glum my friend, consider your time spent here as research in one form another. Many years from now you might find yourself in a difficult situation - you can think "what would Burnt Reynolds do?"

POOF! Problem solved - all because of your time on Rokslide posting in my thread ;) You sir are a scholar and a gentleman...
 
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Burnt Reynolds

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Saturday Saturday Saturday! Now that we're all done with the 1000 push-ups, 10 mile run and truck toss; it's time to enjoy a light breakfast of a dozen eggs, loaf of bread and about 10lbs of grilled blackstrap. And to top it all off - I get to send critical mission supplies to you!
 
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Well he didn't buy the package but I'll let the cat out of the bag - many years ago I was a studly buffed freshman in high school. One day after leaving the gym with bursting pecs and swollen thighs which attracted the absolute cream of the crop teenage babes like it was their job; every step I'd take would result further shredding of my jeans. The happy coincidence was that this was the year in which some of the best music ever made hit the airwaves by an artist we all know and love dearly. His ability to combine the freshest beats, the most epic rhymes with dance moves choreographed in heaven - further bedazzling us with his eyewear and jewelry - his unstoppable juggernaut of melodies forever transformed this nation. This man redefined a generation and I took a page from his book to solve my constant wardrobe malfunctions.

I speak of the one - the only - MC HAMMER!

The special prize was my favorite pair of MC Hammer pants which I've been keeping frozen in an underground vault for decades. My wife pleaded with me not to do it. My kids cried tears of deathly sorrow when they learned I was going to give away the most cherished of family heirlooms. My dog - my dog howled for days.

You heard me right - FREE MC HAMMER PANTS! R_Nues, the window hasn't closed. This opportunity still exists.


Now that there ^^^^ isn't just a special prize, it's an internet round house too.
 
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Burnt Reynolds

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Next time I sell something on the Rok, I'm having you list it.
With commission of course[emoji106

ahhhhhhh, as Saturday winds down and I reflect on my day of shooting followed by the most insane pile of birthday 4 year olds you've ever seen: the - party - was - off - the - hook! We took sugar high to an all new level... I still can't believe what a dozen munchkins can do with uncle burnt feeding extra pieces of cake and candy lol. I'm still drawing the pictures on my wall.

I think Burnts' extravaganza may have a new "hook"! I like it... but I'll trade commissions for good juju and intel ;)
 
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Burnt Reynolds

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Okay everyone, time to get serious! Buy any one of the three remaining items and get your choice of another at half off!

Example: buy the boots for $275 and you can choose the tent or bag for 50% of asking price!

A deal like this is so good even your wife will say thank you!

Don't delay, burnt's extravaganza is about to close its doors forever, everything must go - its the liquidation event of the century!
 
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Burnt Reynolds

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Dang. Late to the party!

You may be late to the party, but you're just in time for Crazy Burnt's Selloff Challenge!

If someone buys the boots & bag in the next 10 minutes I'll eat a bag of popcorn seeds and climb inside a tanning bed! It'll be an explosive great time! Here at Burnt's Extravaganza we know what you want: unbeatable prices and popcorn carnage! In the name of LOW LOW LOW prices no feat is too great and no mountain too tall - besides, I'm about to dump a ton of $$$ on Oregon ram raffle tickets and I need to raise cash so wife doesn't "suicide" me with three to the back of the head lol

~ que music: "Can't Touch This" ~
 
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