orionsbrother
WKR
So, I responded to a post by a guy hitting a rough patch and shared some of the thoughts that run through my head daily. I’ve put myself in a situation that has created and invited many challenges for myself. As such, I am continuously having some stern conversations with myself.
I recently had a day filled with a cascade of aggravating chit going wrong and piling up. I am not a victim. I am responsible for where I am. But, I did make a request for some quality, abusive and humorous motivation to help spur me on. Think R. Lee Ermey not Dr. Phil. That call went mostly unanswered.
When I answered the post, I tried to share some of the stuff that I’ve been thinking without using the harsher self applied material. I am deservedly more of a dick with myself. A couple of positive responses, PM’s and phone calls have provided encouragement to rip the top off. I figured that since I wasn’t finding anyone to throw some external motivational wood on the fire, I might as well try gathering up what I’ve got in one spot and stoke it up. It might be cathartic.
Maybe some of you will enjoy it. With preparations for this year’s seasons, maybe you can use some of it. Maybe some of you will add some of your own. I can always use some new material.
I want to make clear a few things, however:
1.This is me talking to myself. Not the guy who created the other thread. Not anyone else.
2.I am not The Chit. I know that I am not The Chit. If I had things figured out and was The Chit I wouldn’t need to be giving myself motivational talks in my head. So, keep that in mind. Quality advice and motivation comes from people who can display that they know what they’re talking about, not some guy working his way out of a cluster#*@k.
3.I am not military. I am not a military wannabe. The old man was, and some good friends are. Any parallels in phrasing or attitude are a function of exposure, not an attempt to come across as something I am not.
4.I don’t think I’m a badazz. Refer to previous comments about The Chit. I am a stubborn and determined cementhead, however. I resolutely believe in a refusal to stay down.
And:
5.My language #*@king sucks when I talk to myself. I will couch it with symbols. If you’re still offended by that, I apologize.
“Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you,
say what you’ve got to say and say it hot.” D.H. Lawrence.
So you’ve had a bad day? A little tired? Chit’s not working out the way you hoped???
Too #*@king bad. You’ve got chit to do and no one else is going to do it. You are not just responsible for yourself, pussbag, you have a family counting on you. Your wife’s Wendish Valinian Peasant ancesters didn’t #*@king make the month’s long journey to get here, eating their #*@king dead along way during that pleasure cruise so that you could fail their future generations, your wife and kids!
If they saw your whiney pathetic azz right now, they’d probably toss some of that genetic material in your eye! And rightly so. They’d probably figure the best use for you would be to tie you to a tree so you could watch them roast and snack on your leg like the scene from “Quest For Fire”. Hell, one of your great, great, great, great, great grandmothers-in-law could probably kick your azz in the morning, eat one of your legs for brunch and grow a better #*@king beard than you by the afternoon, all while single handedly pulling a #*@king plow and not once whimpering.
You going to get your azz in gear? You’re supposed to lead this family! What do you want to do? #*@king pull on a pair of “Hello Kitty” panties, sit on the couch and eat Twinkies? Life is a struggle, not a cakewalk. You’re supposed to RISE to challenges, not expect to be able to step over them. Have a little self respect! And remember that respect is EARNED not #*@king doled out like #*@king food stamps. Your “need” or “want” is irrelevant.
You respect the people you do because they have persevered where you assume that you would have failed. So take failure off the board. And remove; endure; complete; and satisfy obligations as well. You need to do better than that. Family, friends and countless people you don’t even know have #*@king made huge sacrifices to give you the opportunity to excel. To EXCEL! You are not settling for #*@k-up or average and thus insulting their efforts and the freedom that they’ve provided you. They deserve more than you wanting to take a nap! You want self respect? #*@king earn it! Accomplish more than you thought you could.
And the only way you’re going to do that is by busting your balls. You’re obviously not skating by on your #*@king looks. And if you were half as smart as you think you are, you wouldn’t find yourself where you #*@king are right now. Would you? Would’ve been better to avoid this chit than having to bull through it. Wouldn’t it? But you’re in it now and if you can’t figure out something slick you better be willing to take your lumps. “If you’re gonna be stupid, you better be tough.” ‘Cause, did I mention? You’ve got people counting on you. And this isn’t an NEA meeting. Excuses don’t cut it.
So, you can work smarter or you can work harder. Right? #*@k you! You lazy, warm bowl of puke! They’re not mutually exclusive! #*@king do both. You’ve got one #*@king shot at this. Make each day count. Part of that means making time to think chit through properly to avoid cluster#*@ks. Use some cognitive reasoning to avoid situations that require brute force and ignorance to push through! Dumbazz!
Which brings something else up. Don’t be a dumbazz. Choose your battles. You’re #*@king wading through chit for a reason other than your ego. Make sure it’s worth the price. A Pyrrhic victory is not a victory.
And for #*@k’s sake don’t start sniveling about it being complicated and not knowing which path is the right one and which path is the wrong one. You’re here. You figure it out. No matter what, sometimes you’re going to screw the pooch. Have you not #*@king looked around yourself today?!? #*@king fix it or recognize that you’re a douchebag and move on. Either way, you’re still moving. And incremental progress is still progress.
If you want to wallow in self-pity, why don’t you get a guitar, a man purse, and write some sensitive songs. Maybe you’ll get a #*@king shot on “Ellen” and you could get a new girlfriend who’ll coddle you and maybe talk about feelings with you while you watch some meaningful movie together on the sofa that her “Daddy” refers to as a divan. “The Travelling Sisterhood of The Green Fried Magnolias” or some chit like that.
‘Cause the wife isn’t going to dig living with #*@king Sprocket or The Dude. The Bathrobe Lifestyle, farming the mailbox ain’t gonna cut it. That’s not what she signed on for. You #*@king sold her on having a plan and making it work. She bought into your bullchit, and frankly, you haven’t delivered yet. Get the #*@k on it!
And while we’re at it, pudding-azz…How about you pry your fat azz out of bed earlier and amp it up? The mountain doesn’t take excuses and neither does your buddy. You really want him to work up some pathetic look of understanding for you and your lagging? #*@k you, you steaming piece of broccoli chit! “Yeah, sorry. I was trying to get my azz in shape, but my schedule has been difficult.” You disgust me! Take some of your own advice. Prioritize chit. Nothing’s going to get done and fewer elk are going to be killed by you if you don’t get back in shape and you tip over dead. It’s #*@king embarrassing!
So to sum it up, though you are not without merits and some hope, you are presently, undoubtedly undeserving of your wife, children, family, friends, ancestors, and some countrymen, and an embarrassment to yourself. You need to get on that. Now.
I’m waiting.
I recently had a day filled with a cascade of aggravating chit going wrong and piling up. I am not a victim. I am responsible for where I am. But, I did make a request for some quality, abusive and humorous motivation to help spur me on. Think R. Lee Ermey not Dr. Phil. That call went mostly unanswered.
When I answered the post, I tried to share some of the stuff that I’ve been thinking without using the harsher self applied material. I am deservedly more of a dick with myself. A couple of positive responses, PM’s and phone calls have provided encouragement to rip the top off. I figured that since I wasn’t finding anyone to throw some external motivational wood on the fire, I might as well try gathering up what I’ve got in one spot and stoke it up. It might be cathartic.
Maybe some of you will enjoy it. With preparations for this year’s seasons, maybe you can use some of it. Maybe some of you will add some of your own. I can always use some new material.
I want to make clear a few things, however:
1.This is me talking to myself. Not the guy who created the other thread. Not anyone else.
2.I am not The Chit. I know that I am not The Chit. If I had things figured out and was The Chit I wouldn’t need to be giving myself motivational talks in my head. So, keep that in mind. Quality advice and motivation comes from people who can display that they know what they’re talking about, not some guy working his way out of a cluster#*@k.
3.I am not military. I am not a military wannabe. The old man was, and some good friends are. Any parallels in phrasing or attitude are a function of exposure, not an attempt to come across as something I am not.
4.I don’t think I’m a badazz. Refer to previous comments about The Chit. I am a stubborn and determined cementhead, however. I resolutely believe in a refusal to stay down.
And:
5.My language #*@king sucks when I talk to myself. I will couch it with symbols. If you’re still offended by that, I apologize.
“Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you,
say what you’ve got to say and say it hot.” D.H. Lawrence.
So you’ve had a bad day? A little tired? Chit’s not working out the way you hoped???
Too #*@king bad. You’ve got chit to do and no one else is going to do it. You are not just responsible for yourself, pussbag, you have a family counting on you. Your wife’s Wendish Valinian Peasant ancesters didn’t #*@king make the month’s long journey to get here, eating their #*@king dead along way during that pleasure cruise so that you could fail their future generations, your wife and kids!
If they saw your whiney pathetic azz right now, they’d probably toss some of that genetic material in your eye! And rightly so. They’d probably figure the best use for you would be to tie you to a tree so you could watch them roast and snack on your leg like the scene from “Quest For Fire”. Hell, one of your great, great, great, great, great grandmothers-in-law could probably kick your azz in the morning, eat one of your legs for brunch and grow a better #*@king beard than you by the afternoon, all while single handedly pulling a #*@king plow and not once whimpering.
You going to get your azz in gear? You’re supposed to lead this family! What do you want to do? #*@king pull on a pair of “Hello Kitty” panties, sit on the couch and eat Twinkies? Life is a struggle, not a cakewalk. You’re supposed to RISE to challenges, not expect to be able to step over them. Have a little self respect! And remember that respect is EARNED not #*@king doled out like #*@king food stamps. Your “need” or “want” is irrelevant.
You respect the people you do because they have persevered where you assume that you would have failed. So take failure off the board. And remove; endure; complete; and satisfy obligations as well. You need to do better than that. Family, friends and countless people you don’t even know have #*@king made huge sacrifices to give you the opportunity to excel. To EXCEL! You are not settling for #*@k-up or average and thus insulting their efforts and the freedom that they’ve provided you. They deserve more than you wanting to take a nap! You want self respect? #*@king earn it! Accomplish more than you thought you could.
And the only way you’re going to do that is by busting your balls. You’re obviously not skating by on your #*@king looks. And if you were half as smart as you think you are, you wouldn’t find yourself where you #*@king are right now. Would you? Would’ve been better to avoid this chit than having to bull through it. Wouldn’t it? But you’re in it now and if you can’t figure out something slick you better be willing to take your lumps. “If you’re gonna be stupid, you better be tough.” ‘Cause, did I mention? You’ve got people counting on you. And this isn’t an NEA meeting. Excuses don’t cut it.
So, you can work smarter or you can work harder. Right? #*@k you! You lazy, warm bowl of puke! They’re not mutually exclusive! #*@king do both. You’ve got one #*@king shot at this. Make each day count. Part of that means making time to think chit through properly to avoid cluster#*@ks. Use some cognitive reasoning to avoid situations that require brute force and ignorance to push through! Dumbazz!
Which brings something else up. Don’t be a dumbazz. Choose your battles. You’re #*@king wading through chit for a reason other than your ego. Make sure it’s worth the price. A Pyrrhic victory is not a victory.
And for #*@k’s sake don’t start sniveling about it being complicated and not knowing which path is the right one and which path is the wrong one. You’re here. You figure it out. No matter what, sometimes you’re going to screw the pooch. Have you not #*@king looked around yourself today?!? #*@king fix it or recognize that you’re a douchebag and move on. Either way, you’re still moving. And incremental progress is still progress.
If you want to wallow in self-pity, why don’t you get a guitar, a man purse, and write some sensitive songs. Maybe you’ll get a #*@king shot on “Ellen” and you could get a new girlfriend who’ll coddle you and maybe talk about feelings with you while you watch some meaningful movie together on the sofa that her “Daddy” refers to as a divan. “The Travelling Sisterhood of The Green Fried Magnolias” or some chit like that.
‘Cause the wife isn’t going to dig living with #*@king Sprocket or The Dude. The Bathrobe Lifestyle, farming the mailbox ain’t gonna cut it. That’s not what she signed on for. You #*@king sold her on having a plan and making it work. She bought into your bullchit, and frankly, you haven’t delivered yet. Get the #*@k on it!
And while we’re at it, pudding-azz…How about you pry your fat azz out of bed earlier and amp it up? The mountain doesn’t take excuses and neither does your buddy. You really want him to work up some pathetic look of understanding for you and your lagging? #*@k you, you steaming piece of broccoli chit! “Yeah, sorry. I was trying to get my azz in shape, but my schedule has been difficult.” You disgust me! Take some of your own advice. Prioritize chit. Nothing’s going to get done and fewer elk are going to be killed by you if you don’t get back in shape and you tip over dead. It’s #*@king embarrassing!
So to sum it up, though you are not without merits and some hope, you are presently, undoubtedly undeserving of your wife, children, family, friends, ancestors, and some countrymen, and an embarrassment to yourself. You need to get on that. Now.
I’m waiting.
