My first Bow - Stolen from Facebook, got a good chuckle from this

[stumpknocker]

Reminds me of the time we had the good sense to throw a full CO2 canister into the coals in a campfire after a long day playing airsoft, to settle a bet how long it would take to cook off.

We backed off the fire, of course, but our 12 year old brains did not think to move the camp chairs. That bitty CO2 tank blew our fire 10 feet high and spread over a 30 foot radius, ruining everything in sight.

Was about as loud as that time I blew out the barrel on my Henry .22 by "reloading" a .22 shell with a vise and channel locks to add a lil extra powder to take out the neigborhood beaver....

 

[Carr5vols]

Man thatbis one of the funniest things I have read in a while...every person on the site should read that...

 

[bward34]

Just what I needed to read this evening! So funny

 

[dogman11]

At 11 I dumped the shot out of 410 shells and put arrows up against the wads.
My stevens double barrel that my granddad bought at a pawn shop in Chattanooga the day I was born!
Some how it didn't blow up the barrel but it wasnt very accurate with out fletching!
My dad laid the belt to my ass pretty hard for that!!!
Child abuse in todays times!!!
CB

 

[slingerHB]

Funny I have an identical story. Shooting aluminum arrows out of my daly single shot 410. Shooting them at farm cats and the sides of buildings until one exploded in my face right out of the barrel!

Gotta love the things we think of as kids. Also always doing it when parents are gone and if something were to happen we would have been screwed.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

 

[Phaseolus]

I got home from school one day when I was 12 and was a bit bored. I grabbed a half full can of black powder that my dad had in a locked cabinet in the garage, I knew where he hid the key...I poured a small amount out on the driveway and lit it, COOL! So I poured a larger amount out and then made the mistake of laying the can on it’s side about two feet from the pile with the lid off. As luck would have it a spark flew from the pile to the can and it went off with a Whump. I came to laying on my side on the driveway and our neighbor Man was tearing off my smoldering T-shirt. I had some good burns on the side facing the can but everyone figures I was pretty lucky. (When the story got re-told I always wondered why they thought I was lucky because I got caught).

 

[EastHumboldt]

That is really funny. Many of us have stories of stupid s**t we should not have survived. Of course those who achieved a Darwin Award can’t tell their stories.

I think I was about 14. My dad was stationed in Ankara Turkey as part of a logistics military aid mission. Since the dollar was 15/1 against the lira then we were filthy rich on his lower middle class military salary and we lived up on embassy hill with the rich Turks, political hot shots, Turkish army generals, and foreign diplomats. We were about a half mile from the presidential palace, and surrounded by embassies and the homes of high military officers. They were heavily guarded by elite troops with loaded Sub machine guns. This was the early 70’s and the country faced a simmering communist insurgency so they were pretty jumpy.

There were three of us American boys in the neighborhood who hung out together, and one of us (can’t remember who) thought it would be fun to put four M-80 firecrackers in a cigarette package and twist the fuses together. For the uninitiated an M-80 is equal to a couple cherry bombs and supposed to be 1/4 of a stick of dynamite although I doubt that last. At any rate it’s a big Fuuken firecracker. There was a construction site just down the hill from our apartment building with several Lengths of 18” concrete drain pipe laying there. We thought one of those big pipes would be perfect because we would be the only ones able to see the explosion. Didn’t think about it as an acoustic amplifier. So we snuck down there in the dark after dinner on the pretext of walking the dog (poor dog) lit the fuses and threw it in the pipe. We covered our ears and ducked.

KAABBOOOOONGGG. A deep loud ringing boom shattered the dark peaceful early evening. As boys will , we lost it and fell to the ground laughing so hard we probably snotted and peed ourselves a little. We were helpless. This was soon interrupted by bright flashlights and a gruff voice shouting in Turkish “Put up our hands”. We looked up to find ourselves on the business end of several of those aforementioned sub machine guns. We raised our hands and my friend Frank who spoke the best Turkish of the bunch said “Hey uncles..., wassup!!” Fortunately for us these soldiers must have heard us laughing and could tell we were stupid American boys , not commie terrorists. We got a stern lecture and sent home. Thank god my dad never found out.

 

[TheGDog]

Gotta story like that.

GrandMa had a place down in Ensenada when we were kids. So this is when my older brothers are like 11th and 12th grade in highschool. It's on this property that Mrs Hussong owns. It's right before the last left-turn bend in the Hwy when heading NB into the town. There were only like 3 more houses after hers, then the remnants of some house that had been there separate on the corner on the end of this cove/bay. A naturally formed volcanic-rock jetty went all along that North edge where lands meets ocean, and that jetty started there and went into the water maybe 50+yds.

So it's night time, and as we'd often do, gathered up palm frawns and any other damn thing wooden we could get our hands on. There was a particular spot on the volcanic rock which had the right shape to block the wind and stayed out of the water at high tide, so they always did the bonfires there.

Well... somebody... had found a metal 1 gal Gasoline can. And if I had to guess I'd say it felt like it had... maybe 3" inches of gas in it. If you don't know Palm Frawns burn very well and very rapidly. Well... one of the teens.. instead of just using a lil of the gas to help it start... this mofo goes and dumps the whole damn thing onto it!!

Most of us were standing back since this idiot goes and dumps that much God Damned gas on the thing. So I'm like... maybe... 10ft back... against another volcanic rock that had a nice sloping angled surface to it.

The guy is using a standard matchbook of matches. And he's trying to the trick where you simultaneous flick a ripped off match across the strip and it throws at the end. He does the first one... goes out before it hits... he does the second ones... same deal.. but by then the smell of the gasoline wafts over this way... my oldest brother goes "Gary!... Go get behind that rock.." So as I begin climbing up the sloping surface of that rock... his 3rd attempt must have did the trick... because HoooooLyyyyyyy SH*T!!! All of a sudden I see a blaze of orange light adn my shadow cast upon this stone I'm climbing up!!! I whip my around just in time to see the freakin' 15-foot tall flame that shot up from all that gasoline doused onto the fire!!! Being a little pyro... I swear that was thee most badass thing I'd ever seen up to that point in my young life!

Hehe... they had to play it off too when we all went back up to the house. "Oh that?.. yeah it was all Palm Frawns that were real dry." The adults accepted the answer, but you coudl tell they knew damn well something else was in play

 

[MattCagle27]

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbich.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head.
I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of Pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. Pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.
Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.
I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck...OH SHIT! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of Pyrodex and into the can.
Oh Shit.
When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.
There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice I said "was". That son-of-a-bitch got up and ran off.
So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback:
ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMNIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!
His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know – I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring Him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

~Author Unknown

Dying

 

[BluMtn]

Not Stupid pyro stuff, but does anybody remember the story of Ty Murray and his friends snowmobiling in west Yellowstone several years back? They were riding in the park and had stopped for a rest and I am sure there may have been some beverages involved. Anyhow there was a herd of elk in front of them with a mature bull. Someone in the group bets Ty that he can't ride a bull elk for 8 seconds. Well one thing leads to another and soon Ty is on the back of a snowmobile and they drive up along side the bull and Ty jumps off the snowmobile onto the back of the bull elk and he won the bet by riding the bull elk for 8 seconds. Said it was one of the wildest rides he has ever done. The bull was not impressed having him on his back. So as with all fun things one of the guys videoed it and eventually it got out. The National Park Service met with him and it ended up costing several thousands dollars in fines.

 

[Northernpiker]

Tdhanses, funny stuff. Made me think of Pat McManus stories.

 

[260madman]

185 3 wheeler and thundercats t-shirt. Early 80s at its best.