Quitting Alcohol

[HuntingIndian]

Sober since 13 years, used to drink 1 to 1.5 liters of whiskey/vodka every night. I had to hit rock bottom to go sober (homeless, divorce etc etc).

Urge to drink is always there, i didn't forget what that rock bottom feels like, it keeps me in check. I now drink beer on rare occasions (once or twice a year, 2 beers max at a time). I do love beer.

I am in a good place now. i have done a lot since being sober, it is a constant reminder to me, as what could've been, if wasn't an alcoholic.

Good luck to OP, on your journey.

 

[Scoot]

The peak of mt stupid can be a plateau that lasts a long time. Trust me, I feel like I’ve only started coming down from it (about many things) in the last 10 of my 49 years.

Many never leave the mountain during their life! Unfortunately, the "if I'd have known then what I know now" thing is applicable to all of us. But... with age comes wisdom (at least for many).

 

[Beanyray]

@Stubborn_bowhunter

ever heard of the Dunning Kruger effect? It’s essentially a look at the relationship between ones confidence and wisdom or knowledge.

at the start we think we know a lot, we are young, cocky, have all the anwsers, bulletproof, etc. the fact is we are largely idiots at that point as we lack true wisdom or deep knowledge. When we realize that we are idiots, we sink down into a kind of depression, knowing we were full of shit for far too long. That’s the point at which we start really learning; when we realize we don’t really have a clue. From there, knowledge and wisdom begin to truly grow - slowly through experience.

if you think about cultures that respect elders it makes a great deal of sense - they in fact largely are much more wise. Our culture nowadays seems to prefer to venerate the young - when in fact they are at the peak of Mt Stupid - see below.

I put a copy of this graph on my kids wall, not to tell her she’s stupid, but to remind her to honestly ask herself where she is on the chart and to keep herself humble and open to more experience.

how it relates to booze…I think we are at the peak of mt stupid when we can’t see the relationship beteeen the booze and it’s negative effects - denial. We’ve got to sink down to that valley of despair and work through it to get back on a positive track to wisdom and kicking a bad habit for good - the plateau of sustainability.

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Great stuff! In my life I thought alcohol gave me confidence when in fact it highlighted my lack there of. I quit drinking last year, I didn’t have a “problem” and had become mostly a social drinker but I just felt like it wasn’t adding any value to my life. I have 3 young sons and I want them to see my confidence in who I am and more importantly who I am because of who my creator is.

The graph above reminds me of this time when I was standing tall on Mount Stupid at 22 years old and a girl I was hitting on said she desperately wanted to meet the President of the United States and it dawned on me that I couldn’t make that happen, I seriously thought I had access to everything and everyone before that moment in my life *Face palm emoji


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[robtattoo]

I’ve taken D twice a day the Black Ass hasn’t been as prevalent.

I am SO sorry to derail this thread, but I literally just laugh-farted when I read that!

 

[452b264]

For some they dont see the reality drinking. I have lost 7 family members/friends and one acquaintance to drunk drivers all of them hit head on or T-boned over the 45 years. All it takes is a drink or two and not only is your life forever changed but so is an entire family.
My dad was a heavy drinker so was his brother and I watched it ruin both of their lives. They ruined their jobs and relationships.

 

[thinhorn_AK]

About 5 years ago, my wife made me tone it down to one day a week and a moderate day at that. At first I thought it was really annoying of her to do but really it has been good for me.

I was recently at a family reunion and my sister and her husband were drinking like they were at a college party the entire time, I used to drink like that with them but stopped. During that reunion I could see how annoyed everybody was with them and their drunkness. I was glad I wasn’t drinking at the reunion, I was sort of embarrassed for them.

I don’t have a problem with people drinking or not drinking, I’ve stopped hunting and fishing with a few friends because it’s more of a booze cruise for them than a hunting or fishing trip. I just don’t hunt or fish with them. I still like to have a few beers or some scotch but I keep it to a reasonable limit so that I’m not a wreck the next day.

 

[Lowg08]

Can't find the courage to quit smoking cigarette and tobacco, that is the only thing I indulge in and, I can't seem to find that courage to let it go.

It can be done. I’ve been quit drinking for 12, smoking for 10 and dipping for 7 this month.

 

[*zap*]

How do you figure that out? Any examples?

Start with a daily, honest self examination of what you have done that day and where you failed and that can expand to a life self examination in time. Change those things with self discipline. Put Purpose over Pleasure...what you need not what you want. Replace the bad compulsions with good compulsions....exercise daily, eat right, meditate, think personal development...
Stay away from People, Places and Things that are triggers...which is a Huge issue to being sober/clean.

Really AA has been the answer for millions and millions of people who were hopeless......Maybe start with examining why you won't go there. It is just a group of people who talk to one another....don't be afraid of it and realize that if you go and say something what you say may save someone else who is suffering..

 

[Stubborn_bowhunter]

Start with a daily, honest self examination of what you have done that day and where you failed and that can expand to a life self examination in time. Change those things with self discipline. Put Purpose over Pleasure...what you need not what you want. Replace the bad compulsions with good compulsions....exercise daily, eat right, meditate, think personal development...
Stay away from People, Places and Things that are triggers...which is a Huge issue to being sober/clean.

Really AA has been the answer for millions and millions of people who were hopeless......Maybe start with examining why you won't go there. It is just a group of people who talk to one another....don't be afraid of it and realize that if you go and say something what you say may save someone else who is suffering..

Thank you for this post, Zap. It really got me thinking.

 

[*zap*]

 

[Hobo Fly Fisherman]

I am REALLY happy this thread has gotten traction and I hope the OP gets some strength and feelings of solidarity from our community.

I will offer a short version of my story because I found reading through others above me, I found more things in common with you fellas, and I am humbled by the vulnerability AND stories or redemption and strength being shared here.

I am not an expert on recovery, trauma, or otherwise a teacher for much anything. I am, however, an expert in suffering I feel. This is my story:

I was born an Army brat. Moved around a lot. My dad was a professional warrior and drinker. I don't know what caused what, but the drinking and the Army lifestyle destroyed my family and my dad. My folks got divorced when I was little. My dad bounced between sober and violently drunk, suicidal, murderous, etc. After the Army, he became a cop in a big city with a lot of his other Army buddies. The drinking was part of the culture. Sadly, so was divorce and broken families were all around us. I was not special in that regard. I was the subject of my father's angst, frustration, ptsd from Vietnam, and feelings of shame and failure often.

He was a beautiful man in many ways. Taught me how to hunt/fish/camp/track/drive a truck/smoke a cigar/guns/bows/etc etc. He was my hero despite the violence. But I vowed to never be like him.

Fast forward: I served our country for 10 years. Put my life in harms way to make a difference hopefully. I believed. September 11 happened and I turned 18 right after. I was a warrior and wanted nothing else than to live high speed, low drag. And I did cool shit all over the place, have the t-shirts and stickers and scars to show for it. I didn't believe I could get or experience PTSD because I was a hard M'F***er. My whole team believed the same. That stuff was reserved for "others" not me bro.

Well, I was humbled and hit my bottom couple years back. Alcohol also was a prerequisite for us guys. That, and being shi**y husbands. I found myself crying, panic attack, collapsed in a corner of my bedroom, holding one of my handguns and figuring out when to eat it. I decided I would wait until my wife would leave the house and then I would. She was pregnant. I had/have been suffering nightmares for oh, probably 9 years or so. Images of extreme violence seared into my brain, feeling powerless,. I didn't know what was happening other than I was out of control. I was a stranger to my wife, my family. My work buddies whom I trusted my life with were just as effed up as me. I felt alone, in a hole, with no way out. And i used alcohol all the time to numb sensations of anxiety, boredom, and yes, even fear. I felt AFRAID. At work, I was afraid. At home, I would be afraid. I couldn't turn off my hyper-vigilance. I had to drink to numb that crap. I believed if God did exist, he had no love or want for me. If God did exist, I never saw him fighting my wars. I was truly alone.

My baby girl was born and that wonderful moment as I held my first child, I felt God's love and presence in our lives. I KNEW HE was with me, with us, with my baby girl. I wept uncontrollably feeling the holy spirit wrap around my family like a warm blanket. That day, my baby girl's birthday, I made several decisions, commitments: I was quitting, I submitted my papers soon thereafter. And I was not going to use booze as a crutch. Most importantly, I needed HELP. I told my wife all these things.

Those decisions didn't save my marriage but it did save my life. My ex-wife and I are loving parents and partners in life, no longer married, but we have a much better relationship now. My daughter has a much healthier father. I am present with her, enjoying my civvie life as much as I can. And I have been working on my relationship between God and I. I have a long road ahead of me but I am so thankful.

Thanks for reading, thanks for sharing. I get renewed strength and hope reading through all of your stories.

 

[Kilboars]

Powerful stories guys. I really enjoy reading them and learning about real men.


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[beachbunny]

good for you O.P., enjoy the rest of your life!

 

[100%DIYazCOUES]

10 days! I look up to guys like you… 12 years ago I had nothing, was in terrible shape, no self worth, and generally not a good person. I was one of the “hopeless” variety. Today I have a beautiful wife and kids, a nice home, my dream job, and am happy with the man I see in the mirror. If you’re like me and willpower isn’t enough, I’d suggest seeking out some AA meetings. Give it a chance, it has worked for me and a LOT of people I know. I don’t think it’s the only way, but in my experience it’s the best way that I’ve come across.as cheesey as it sounds, It’s given me more then I ever thought was possible.Good luck, and feel free to reach out if there’s anything I can do for you.

 

[Stubborn_bowhunter]

I am not an expert on recovery, trauma, or otherwise a teacher for much anything. I am, however, an expert in suffering I feel.

Thanks for reading, thanks for sharing. I get renewed strength and hope reading through all of your stories.

Your story is absolutely inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. Thank you for being you, man. I'm so grateful that you found that beauty of life again, and are here with us!

Your story really brought this quote to my head.
I was thinking about it earlier today then when I had time to read your post it was an embodiment of it.

“The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity.” - Seneca

 

[Stubborn_bowhunter]

Can't find the courage to quit smoking cigarette and tobacco, that is the only thing I indulge in and, I can't seem to find that courage to let it go.

You can definitely do it if you want to.

I quit cigarettes to be able to hike farther hunting. My obsession with bowhunting and nature trumped my affinity for cowboy killers.

Copenhagen I didn't stop for a few years after. I watched my stepdad succumb to throat cancer in 2017. It was rough watching one of the toughest men I've ever known wither away.
I decided it was almost blasphemous to keep chewing after that. Definitely have caved over the years taken a pinch, bought a tin here and there. Mostly would end up opening it then throwing it away when I realized I didn't want it anymore.
But if I can do it you for sure can!

I drink a ton of coffee, and chew a lot of gum now instead though. Gotta pick your battles I guess.

 

[260madman]

Well, my wife’s sibling from page 2 went to the Dr for a physical this week. Besides the uncontrollable BP and very high cholesterol numbers this sibling has developed cirrhosis of the liver. Was told to quit completely to allow the liver to heal, I f it can at this point, because the sibling is young. If not then expect to be dead before 55. We will see how long it lasts. Every fall from the wagon has been worse than the last. Guess it doesn’t help when the SO likes to drink and is a pot head.

My next installment I’ll tell about a life long friend I saw at my grandmother’s funeral this week.

 

[Stubborn_bowhunter]

Well, my wife’s sibling from page 2 went to the Dr for a physical this week. Besides the uncontrollable BP and very high cholesterol numbers this sibling has developed cirrhosis of the liver. Was told to quit completely to allow the liver to heal, I f it can at this point, because the sibling is young. If not then expect to be dead before 55. We will see how long it lasts. Every fall from the wagon has been worse than the last. Guess it doesn’t help when the SO likes to drink and is a pot head.

That's very unfortunate to hear. Hopefully they take the steps to try and heal. Cirrhosis sounds like a terrible way to die.

 

[Scoot]

Cirrhosis sounds like a terrible way to die.

I don't recommend it. We all gotta go sometime, but that's certainly not how I'd wish to do so...

 

[ChrisA]

Grilled ahi tuna steaks and boiled corn on the cob for supper. Celebrated end of week with two sparkling waters, lemon flavor.

Figure I avoided 1300+ calories by not having a four pack of IPA and half a dozen Hamm's.

Day 5 complete, good night.