Four words that ruin an elk hunt

"Can you help me?!!!"
"My four-wheeler got stuck"

Me: "Give me your rifle"
Also me: Here, drink this beer
"Do you have water?"
Me: Yes, drink this beer

"My phone is dead"
"I called Search/Rescue"
"I need a ride"
Really happened the night before we headed home in 2022. Glad we were able to help the guy
 
Upon return to camp after a full dark-to-dark day on the mountain, experiencing every known type of precipitation possible, without seeing so much as a bird...

"Our tent is leaking." I said to a guide.
"Yeah, mine is too." He said.
"Our stuff is soaked." I said.
"Yeah, mine is too." He said.
 
So, did you kill an elk ?
No, we were 8 hours away on the other side of the state and had just finished packing my buddies elk out when a big fire broke out back home and destroyed several communities upriver from where we live. I’m not gonna lie, I kind of wanted to stay and hunt since the hunt was getting good, but there was no way I wasn’t gonna head home to be with my wife and boys.
 
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