Balancing a new baby and a passion for hunting

[Jbake108]

805bowhunter dropped some real good stuff there. There is something about being away from your family for an extended period of time doing something tough that makes you really appreciate what you have in a way that nothing else will. When my wife woke the boys up, and met me at the driveway to see my buck rack after I drove 10 hrs and got home at 4am, it’s a feeling of so many different things all at the same time. Something really special there that can’t be beat.
But some days Desk Jockey is 100% correct

 

[Click]

I have hesitated to give any advice up until this point because I don't think I can do justice to the topic in all of it's nuance in a single forum post. My credentials are 14 years of marriage and 2 children ages 12 and 9. Both children were born in August and I never missed a year of hunting.

Communication and understanding are key. Ideally the two of you would have discussed these things prior to getting married and having children but for the most part couples don't anticipate all of the challenges that they will face during their life together. You need to clearly communicate your plans and goals to her well in advance. You can't plan a trip for months and then spring a fully formed plan on her only a month or two before your date of departure. It is better to let her know that you are planning a trip for the fall and then update her as each part of your plan comes together. She needs to accept that this is part of what makes you happy, and support you with the trust/confidence that you won't take more time/money than is necessary in your pursuits. In like manner, you will need to give her the same consideration and encourage her to take time for herself to pursue whatever her goals might be. That includes supporting her pursuits with time and money.

My wife's biggest complaint now is that when I take both of the kids hunting or fishing she is left home alone. That is her choice however as she has an open invitation to join in.

As for the parenting side of this. I recommend as others already have, that life does not revolve around the children. Rather, the children should be along and doing what their parents are doing. There is no better way for them to learn about life than to experience it with their parents. In my opinion, that means that if Mom and Dad are cooking dinner, the children should be in the kitchen learning by doing whatever is in their ability to help. If you are going grocery shopping the kids should come along. If you are building anything the kids should be right there with you. This will make every task take longer and be quite the inconvenience but it is good parenting and will produce self-sufficient children. The mistake I see most often is making the children the center of attention by enrolling them in so many extra-curricular activities and sports that the parents become nothing more than glorified chauffeurs, driving their kids from one place that is all about them to the next place that is all about them. The result is selfish children who grow up into entitled adults. I'm definitely not perfect at this, sometimes I chose the convenience of completing tasks/chores on my own to save time and frustration.

What he said!