Taboo Topics of Discussion

[WildBoose]

Anxiety and Depression. It has always seemed that talking about this is "unmanly"...Well, who gives a crap, lets talk.
Do you have it?
What brings it on?
How do you deal with it?

 

[String&stick]

No I don't. . . But wife has a healthy dose of anxiety and my oldest has struggled with both.

Best advice, talk to someone! Preferably a good counselor. Medication is an option and definitely has a place. But talking to someone, especially someone trained to help can be a huge help.

And anxiety doesn't care if you're man or women. Unfortunately too many men don't want to talk or share their problems because of how they were raised to repress things and "be strong". It takes a lot more strength to admit to a problem and deal with it than it does to push it down and ignore it!

 

[Fowl Play]

Best thing I ever did for myself and my family was take a step back from my extremely stressful job.

Once the stress disappears you realize that the having diarrhea every day, terrible acid reflux, feeling tired all the time was not normal. Lack of sleep and no exercise feeds anxiety/depression, anxiety/depression feeds lack of sleep. It’s a vicious cycle and can take a man down quick if severe enough. Men are more prone to drink it away or end it all before asking for help.

Traded a lead/manager role for a sr. single contributor role and much happier. Good sleep and regular exercise makes a world of difference.

 

[Pro953]

3rd generation bipolar, social anxiety disorder.

#1 - Get help. Suck it up is not realistic with true mental illness.
#2 - I always tell folks. The best thing I came to learn was not to trust my own mind.

Happy to talk to anyone who is struggling or would like more information.


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[Customweld]

Lost my best friend from elementary school when we were 35 to depression and bipolar disorder. I didn’t know what to look for and he was extremely good at keeping it hidden. I now recognize the signs were all there, I just didn’t know what to look for. Please ask for help. Trust me, your family and friends care.

 

[sbaker0029]

I'll echo what string&stick and fowlplay have said.

Men are raised to repress feelings, in order to cope with said feelings lots of men turn to alcohol only worsening the problem.

I definitely agree with your statement;

Anxiety and Depression. It has always seemed that talking about this is "unmanly"...Well, who gives a crap, lets talk.

Best way to handle it is to go talk to a professional counselor that has the skills and education to help pass on to you and help you know how to handle it on your own.

To answer your questions:
Yes, I had/have depression.

What brought it on for me early in life was just that, life. Stress of life, conditions, and circumstances. Feeling sorry for myself in a lot of ways.
It got worse when I started drinking. First for fun. (Funny thing about alcohol is that it is a very strong depressant all while making you feel good while consuming it)
My grandfather whom was my father figure and mom passed within two years of each other. Didn't know how to handle the grieving other than picking up a bottle and drowning the feelings.
In turn making that visous circle even more viscous and ever consuming.
Failed long term relationship and a few other relationships, along with some eye opening experiences got me to look for help.

I handled it by getting professional help from a counselor and briefly getting on medication after I stopped drinking to help jumpstart things.

All that really changed my way of thinking and help me know how to deal with things better when dark clouds start to roll in (very few and far between nowadays). I'm way more equipped with knowing how to deal with things now.

It takes a lot more strength to admit to a problem and deal with it than it does to push it down and ignore it!

^^^THIS 100%

Takes a hell of a man to admit he's wrong or has problem and then do what's necessary to fix or correct it.

 

[displacedtexan]

Bipolar and PTSD.

PTSD triggers the worst of the bipolar. Flashing red and blue lights are triggers for it, as is being berated by someone I perceive as an authority figure. I avoid police interactions if at all possible, even if it would objectively help me.

After about 6 years of VERY self destructive behavior, and 1 suicide attempt I finally sought help.

The wrong medicine is worse than no medicine. First year medicated was pure hell for me and just about everyone around me. 2 more suicide attempts. Almost cost me my business.

Currently on a low dose of one medicine, self medicate with alcohol some.

Stress management helps some, but more the source than amount.

Gotta figure out what works for you. It ain't easy.

I'm pretty open about it because if one particular friend hadn't been, I wouldn't be here.

 

[Justin Crossley]

I recommend finding a church that you like and talking with someone there. Or just pick up a Bible and start reading.

 

[displacedtexan]

I recommend finding a church that you like and talking with someone there. Or just pick up a Bible and start reading.

As a religious person...

That WILL NOT fix a chemical imbalance.

A knowledge of theology is not the same as an understanding of psychology.

There is a huge difference between feeling down or frustrated and being depressed, same with being worried about life and anxiety.

 

[fngTony]

Just one person can effect the the entire household. Our oldest has had anxiety under control now for a few years. It was hard to get where we’re at now but if we didn’t get professional help (starting when she 12) who knows what problems she might have now (17). The public resources might surprise you on how helpful they can be.

 

[ReddingArcher]

I don’t have anxiety but have been dealing with feeling down/depression and just feeling off. I have been seeing the threads on TRT and have been thinking I should probably get my test levels checked. I plan do do that when I get back from a Wyoming elk hunt in a couple weeks.

 

[2ski]

Bipolar and PTSD.

PTSD triggers the worst of the bipolar. Flashing red and blue lights are triggers for it, as is being berated by someone I perceive as an authority figure. I avoid police interactions if at all possible, even if it would objectively help me.

After about 6 years of VERY self destructive behavior, and 1 suicide attempt I finally sought help.

The wrong medicine is worse than no medicine. First year medicated was pure hell for me and just about everyone around me. 2 more suicide attempts. Almost cost me my business.

Currently on a low dose of one medicine, self medicate with alcohol some.

Stress management helps some, but more the source than amount.

Gotta figure out what works for you. It ain't easy.

I'm pretty open about it because if one particular friend hadn't been, I wouldn't be here.

I just want you to know I'm glad you're here.

 

[fngTony]

I recommend finding a church that you like and talking with someone there. Or just pick up a Bible and start reading.

As a religious person...

That WILL NOT fix a chemical imbalance.

A knowledge of theology is not the same as an understanding of psychology.

There is a huge difference between feeling down or frustrated and being depressed, same with being worried about life and anxiety.

I agree both of you. For many people talking to God is the only way they open up, gotta start somewhere. Modern life has many poisons and you can find some really helpful perspectives in really old books.

To the point on chemical imbalance, that’s why our kid had a hard time. Your body produces chemicals but sometimes it can’t do enough and medication is needed.

 

[displacedtexan]

I agree both of you. For many people talking to God is the only way they open up, gotta start somewhere. Modern life has many poisons and you can find some really helpful perspectives in really old books.

To the point on chemical imbalance, that’s why our kid had a hard time. Your body produces chemicals but sometimes it can’t do enough and medication is needed.

Fair.

I just get frustrated (because of my experience) when people see it as THE fix.

It can definitely be part of it.

But sometimes people NEED medication and/or professional help and I feel like it's frequently discouraged.

 

[fngTony]

Fair.

I just get frustrated (because of my experience) when people see it as THE fix.

It can definitely be part of it.

But sometimes people NEED medication and/or professional help and I feel like it's frequently discouraged.

I’ve definitely seen that play out.

 

[displacedtexan]

I’ve definitely seen that play out.

Same. My wife is also medicated (anxiety).

Even when we were at our worst points (fortunately not at the same time!) we were both reading our Bibles daily, praying, and active in a church we liked.

Our brains and bodies just don't work like they should.

Now we enjoy church even more.

 

[Justace]

I love that you brought this up. It’s something that most men refuse to talk about including myself. I have struggled with anxiety/depression for most of my life and I need to get the courage up to finally talk to someone and try to manage it better. Have been off and on medications and it seems to help a little. I struggle with perfectionism also so it’s hard to start out of fear I will just fail at making the needed changes. It’s always helpful to know we are not alone and that it’s more common than we think.

 

[Forestryguy]

Living this now. Defiantly having anxiety, stress, and probably depression. Better than I was 2 weeks ago, but still not my best. I am talking with a counselor but he emphasis has been on time management and study habits, both of which I was already pretty decent at. It is being caused by Nursing school and failing 2 of 3 exams in a Mental Health course, of all classes. It is hard to keep motivated and stay positive when you spend 20+ hours studying in one week just for that exam and fail by one question. The cut off to pass these classes is 80% also, so it is not like I have a true F, but still failing.
The depression part is that I am not able to take the time to get out in the woods. I walk 3 miles a day, around the neighborhood but it is not the same as in the woods. There are other reasons for it also but not going to go into it here.

Just from classes. There are a lot more resources out there to help with these issues than people know about, and are under utilized. Schools at all levels, local communities/counties/states, federal, and many more.

Mental Health is one, if not the highest, under reported health issue in the US due to the stigma around it in society. I personally believe that younger people have realized that all the stress that is brought on by modern society and what the past 2 generations have gone through or created is not worth it. That is why some don't want to take work with corporations or that are generally high stress.

 

[bozeman]

Watch your diet…..cut out sugar completely.

Watch your environment…….get outside with bare feet for 5 mins a day.

Watch your time…….get off phones and away from ‘screens’ for at least 2 hours a day.

Watch your soul…..get in the Bible!

Amazing how these simple steps will change a person!

 

[Marble]

I used to have a decent case of both. 22 years in law enforcement, serving several hundred search warrants, traffic accidents, people just trying to kill me, cancer two times, plus a department that really shits on you when you're actually sick, I was pretty fouled up.

My union got wind of what I was dealing with and sent me to a retreat for first responders with PTSD. I'm OK now. Actually, it's really good.

For anyone suffering, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I can't say what will work for you. For me, when i actually dealt with it and was honest with myself and others, I realized the reason it was overtaking my life is because I was letting it. That sounds cliché but it's the truth.

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