Vasectomy

[kwackkillncrew]

dang you had tape all the way up to your chest?! mine was on the stomach...must be lacking

 

[sbaker0029]

As for the procedure the only painful part was when the removed the tape from my chest.

dang you had tape all the way up to your chest?! mine was on the stomach...must be lacking

 

[NRA4LIFE]

I know a number of guys who've had it done (I have not, so no personal experience). Half of them said it was no problem, the other half said it was the worst thing that has ever happened to them. Seems to be no middle.

 

[tony]

Honestly it depends on the provider.
My guy was a general surgeon and had done hundreds of them. Came in the office from feeding his cattle washed up and went to work.
It was no big deal. My only discomfort was smelling the cauterizing. That made me a little nauseous.
Little soreness for a few days and that was it.
My ex brother in law got put to sleep. He spent hours in the hospital when I was in and out of my guys office in less than an hours.

 

[AK Troutbum]

Honestly it depends on the provider.
My guy was a general surgeon and had done hundreds of them. Came in the office from feeding his cattle washed up and went to work.
It was no big deal. My only discomfort was smelling the cauterizing. That made me a little nauseous.
Little soreness for a few days and that was it.
My ex brother in law got put to sleep. He spent hours in the hospital when I was in and out of my guys office in less than an hours.

Yeah, my experience was pretty similar to yours. I think the most difficult part was finding enough room in the little office for the cherry picker that they had to use to lift my junk out of the way....oh, and by "junk", I'm talking about my belly.

 

[6mm Remington]

Not sure if I should tell this tale of humor or not, but hey we are among friends here right. Right?

So I had an undescended testicle and at the age of 18 the doctor says we have to remove it because it is not working and your chances of getting cancer in it are greatly increased. So I go in for the surgery to remove the testicle. Yeah.

The morning of I woke up and felt like crap. I really had a bug or something, and a fever! I go in and they still take me in to the hospital and take me to the surgery room and start prepping me for surgery. I have told them that I don't feel good and the nurse checks me out, takes blood pressure, pulse, and temperature. Yep running a fever. Still they carry on. I strip down and have nothing on but the backless gown. Like that damn thing hides anything! The very attractive female nurse is doing all this prep, and when she leaves the room I'm thinking she's going to go and get the proper shaving items to get me all ready for the big surgery. She has also at this point given me a shot of something to help me relax. She leaves. I knew I was going to have to be shaved and I was thinking this won't be so bad. At least it's a woman doing it and an attractive one at that. There's no way in hell I wanted a man shaving me.

A few minutes later a MALE nurse comes back in the room carrying a stainless tray with the necessary razors and such. Well CRAP that sucks! Can this really get any worse? He has me remove this robe that I have on and I'm laying on this table now completely naked. I would like to add at this point that I am not like gorilla hairy, but my legs are hairy and my front from the nether region to the top of my chest is hairy. My back no, but you get the point.

So nurse Ratchet starts shaving. He's got gloves on and he's shaving my legs clear down to my knees, my pelvic area, my Schmetzic (fancy medical term), and my stomach all the way up to just above my belly button. This nurse Ratchet has me pull my legs up so he can shave the backs of my legs and my ass too! WTF! Seriously this is a little much isn't it! My testicle is up on the right side in the area of my pelvic bone. Where's this incision going to be and exactly how large is this damn thing going to be. So let me help explain, I am light skinned and my hair was not especially dark, but it is a brown color. I am hairy now only from the knees down and hairy from the belly button up. I look like a frigging Oreo cookie! Nurse Ratchet leaves.

So I have been in the operating room now for about an hour. The shot they gave me has me pretty loopy. The doctor comes in and I cannot make this up, but his name was Doctor High. The doctor tells me that with my high temperature and obviously the fact that I am sick, that they cannot put me to sleep to do the surgery as they had hoped. I also would be charged for the hospital room and what care had been provided. Are you kidding me! He does tell me that they can do it "Locally" though. At this point I have had any dignity I once had ripped away, I feel like crap, and I just wanted to get it over with.

The surgery is on! I am on this table and it's fricking cold in the surgery room as all will attest. I am completey naked and I am strapped down to the table. I kid you not! Not knowing how I will respond to this torture I'm being put through, I have two straps across my legs. One below the knee and one above. I have one strap across my chest with my left arm strapped tight to my side. My right arm is free. There are two nurses helping Dr. High. One nurse helps the doctor and the other holds my hand and checks my pulse and such periodically. The doctor gives me several shots of Novicaine which doesn't feel very good until it starts taking effect. I have a large white sheet that is across my lower chest area at about the belly button and goes up above my head like a lean-to tarp you might use in the woods for shelter. This is so I cannot see what is going on and don't come unglued by what's going on.

I feel numb and I cannot feel the needle pricks (should have used a better term) so I give the go-ahead. The doc starts making a cut on my right pelvic bone area. It does not hurt but I can feel the skin pull apart and seperate. It was the weirdest feeling. He's doing his thing making cuts and what not. At one point he zaps a bleeder or two and I can smell my flesh burning. Now I'm loopy, don't feel good, have lost all dignity, and yet I come up with this great idea. I say, "Hey doc, I'm paying good money for this, can't I watch?" So Dr. High has the nurse get this large overhead mirror positioned above me so I can watch them while they are performing this surgery on me! Yep watching my own surgery going down!

It seems like it's been going on for a while and I'm starting to hurt. I can feel the pain and it's getting worse! Nope it's not in my brain because I'm watching the surgery, and that's exactly what the doc thinks! I'm watching and so now it hurts he thinks. He has another bleeder about this time and zaps it to get it to stop bleeding. I about come off of the table when this happens. I scream and I squeeze this poor nurses hand so hard that she screams! In not so subtle terms I tell the doc that he better give me some more shots to stop the pain or I'm going to get up off of the table! I finally get a couple more shots to take away the pain and they finish up. Prior to him closing things up I rember the doctor asking me if I wanted a prosthetic testicle. I told him I didn't think that would be necessary. WTH

I'm thinking that the torture is over at this point, but nope that's not the case. Because I'm so sick and I just had this surgery, they keep me in the hospital overnight. Because of this all through night about every hour on the hour a nurse would come and check on me to see how I was doing. I know that there are a lot of male nurses in the world, but apparently there were none in this particular hospital on this particular night. Each time a nurse came in to check on me I swear to God that it was a Different Nurse each time! And each time I was checked on for whatever reason they always had to check my nether region just to make sure I was doing okay and everything "looked okay". I am pretty certain that word got out and that it was a must do to go see this Oreo in the recovery room! Even I have to admit it did look awfully damn funny!

I was terribly shy and bashful growing up but after this fiasco it seemingly disappeared overnight! It was like a light switched on.

Fast forward several years and I go in to have "the thing" snipped. Since I only had one at this point I referred to it in the singular. When I was getting checked in for the snipping I explained at the front desk that I only had one testicle and I asked them, shouldn't I get "half-off"! I didn't get the procedure for half price, but they did give me a discount. The snipping procedure was a piece of cake compared to the first horrow show.

Get er done! It's simple.

 

[SC HUNTER]

^that was hard to read at times. Jesus. I watched my vasectomy and didn't have an issue with it. My wife also said I was so high that I was telling the doctor if he messed up I'd give him a 1 star review and expected chic fil a? I have no recollection of that.

 

[tony]

Female nurse shaved my sack, and that was it. That room was bone cold so I pretty much nothing showing.
the cauterize pad was even colder than the room. That made me jump when she put that on.
Other than that zero issues.

 

[Jstumbaugh]

You guys make this sound so maybe…. My wife is plus or minus 2-5 years from menopause or killing me. We have two kids, girl and boy, 14-11. Very happy with were we are at. Still recommend closing in on this window?

 

[TheGDog]

^that was hard to read at times. Jesus. I watched my vasectomy and didn't have an issue with it. My wife also said I was so high that I was telling the doctor if he messed up I'd give him a 1 star review and expected chic fil a? I have no recollection of that.

BUAAHAHAAA!!! That was your "Is This Real Life?" moment! HaHA!

 

[TheGDog]

The long-term safety of vasectomy is mainly threatened by cardiovascular disease, testicular or prostate cancer, long-term loss of sexual function after the operation, and the formation of antisperm antibodies...

Neither is advisable, my buddy became fat and grew tits. He had it reversed but had to get his nuts chopped off due to testicular cancer. YMMV!

Like I said I wouldn't **** with the plumbing down there.

a la FightClub, your buddies Testicular cancer is what was making him have m00bs, as that would suppress his Testosterone production. So he'd therefore have too much Estrogen in his system. Like the character played by MeatLoaf in the movie FightClub.

 

[Calliber]

Don’t mess around on the recovery! Ice those balls down with frozen corn or pea bags for first two days.

This. I did exactly this for a day and half and was good to go.

And to the other post about skydiving 5 dives after surgery.. why? Skydiving you could schedule anytime, why would you want to combine the two? Either skydive first or wait until your body has time to heal before putting it through more physical stress.

 

[huntnful]

I just got mine cut 2 weeks ago. It was crazy simple and fast. No pain. It was all the doctor did for a living. Like he specialized in it. And I was in and out in 20 minutes. Him and the nurse actually talked to me about hunting while he diddled my balls lol, probably to keep my mind off it. It was kind of awkward, but whatever haha. Stayed very immobile and iced my nuts off and on for 2 days. Felt kind of sharp soreness for the first 4 days, and then dull soreness off and on for about 10 days. No blood in the first nut. Came out like normal, but I was SCARED hahaha. Went a little extra on the wife the other night and they are still pretty tender to impacts lol. So she's getting slow stroked for a little while longer. She was coming up on 5 years with her IUD and I felt like she did her part (those things suck for them), and it just made sense for me to get cut, cause I'm not about that rubber life hahaha.