"Something Special" for wife ideas B 4 Hunt Trip?

[FlyGuy]

Looking to tap into the collective knowledge here and blatantly take credit for your great ideas as my own...

I am leaving in 3 days for a 14 day hunting trip (my longest yet) I am absolutely terrible at gifts (or even general thoughtfulness)! My wife handles all that and she is awesome at it. I just wonder if you guys ever do anything special for your wife before leaving on a big trip?

Now, before some of you even start start typing a reply about how happy she should be that I'm out hunting and living my dream, let me tell you a little more about my life. We've been married for 15 years and she is an absolute saint. She did not have any brothers and her dad did not hunt, so the whole concept of leaving for extended trips is extremely foreign to her and it's been a point of tension for us for multiple reasons. The biggest one being that we have a special needs son that requires a good deal of help. He is awesome and it's much easier now than it used to be, but he still requires a lot of care and attention. We get a break for 4 hours per week on Friday nights with a sitter but not much else, and our closest family is 7 hours away. So, when I am out chasing my passion, it means that she has the burden alone. No, it's not an impossible burden or I wouldn't be going, but it's a real sacrifice on her part. She supports me, even though she doesn't get it, for 2 reasons. She understands how stressful our life is and knows I need the mental break. And secondly she wants me to be around and healthy for as long as possible, and at 45 I'm in better shape than I was in for most of my 30s b/c of my year round dedication to training for the mountains.

Now, with that out of the way. I'm going to take her to dinner tonight (and not look at Google earth or text my hunting partner) and make sure she knows how much I appreciate what she is doing for me. I was thinking about having some flowers scheduled to be delivered sometime well after I'm gone? But, Past that, I'm out of ideas? If you guys have any I need them!


Also, on a similar note, this weekend I am going to change out all the smoke detector batteries. Last year one of them (that required a very tall ladder to get to) started beeping not long after I left and she put up with it until I got back. I think her aggravation level bumped up about 1% with every beep, so I am going to try and avoid that one this year! If there are any other tips like that from the group please share!





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[IdahoElk]

Get her a Crock Pot so she can make Elk stew when you get back,Win,win

 

[flatlanderhuffandpuff]

I'm always glad to see when us guys recognize that our wives take on more responsibility during hunting season to let us go play in the woods.

If I'm gone for more than a week I'll prepare something ahead of time. I've prepared an envelope for each day in advance with a note and maybe a picture or whatnot. It doesn't have to be much, just something to show your appreciation.

You could order flowers to show up in the middle of the week you're away.

Could you prepare some kind of game or activity for your son to engage him in your trip? Maybe something that could give your wife a little bit of down time? Not sure the nature of the special needs, but that could be a way to help her out from afar.

Buying an actual gift will probably come across as a bribe more than a gesture. My wife is definitely more of a quality time and acts of service kind of girl so these ideas always work for me.

 

[William Hanson (live2hunt)]

The flowers idea helps.

Make sure all the bills are paid in advance so she doesn't have to worry about that too along with the additional responsibilities.

Sat communication is a huge help for us.

Take care of all the nagging honey dos before you leave.

In your case meal prepping for her and your kid might go a long way to relieve stress.

I've found it's a good idea to have my wife's itinerary busy with friends and family while I'm gone. It helps distract her and the kids from dwelling on my absence.

My wife couldn't care less about me giving her emergency information such as where I will be. She wouldn't really know what to do with the info anyway. I usually leave that sort of information written down with numbers of a few people who could help if I got into a pickle and that makes her feel better. A few years ago one of our members on here went MIA for a few days and his wife came on here distraught looking for help, that made me start planning things a little different to make things easier for my own wife in similar circumstances.



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[Scoot]

You are right… your wife is a Saint! Good for you for even thinking about it. I would suggest flowers and possibly an extra evening of baby sitting coverage or even 2 if you can swing it during the time you are gone.My guess is a little bit of extra time off for her since she is flying solo would help her out a lot. Also I have found that putting in a lot of extra time and effort away home before I leave and after I get back helps my cause considerably. My wife is very understanding but she's not dumb and she's not oblivious. Your wife is probably similar in that she will notice your effort and appreciate you trying to make up for lost time.

Good luck on your trip and good luck to her back home!

 

[muddydogs]

Heck me leaving is my wife's gift. 2 weeks by herself, watching whatever she wants on TV, doing whatever she wants without worrying about what I want to do, eating anything she pleases and having a king sized bed to herself ya she doesn't miss me a whole lot unless the weather is turning colder then she misses the king sized bed heater.

For the first week she won't tell anyone I'm gone so the kids and grand kids don't show up thinking she needs company but after about a week she's ready for the little terrors to come around.

 

[Jordan Budd]

I would say that extra baby sitter coverage and then maybe like a spa day or session. I'm not really into that kind of thing but sounds like that might be a nice get away for her while your gone. Maybe purchase a deal for 2 so she can bring a friend too.

 

[2ski]

The flowers idea helps.

Make sure all the bills are paid in advance so she doesn't have to worry about that too along with the additional responsibilities.

Sat communication is a huge help for us.

Take care of all the nagging honey dos before you leave.

In your case meal prepping for her and your kid might go a long way to relieve stress.

I've found it's a good idea to have my wife's itinerary busy with friends and family while I'm gone. It helps distract her and the kids from dwelling on my absence.

My wife couldn't care less about me giving her emergency information such as where I will be. She wouldn't really know what to do with the info anyway. I usually leave that sort of information written down with numbers of a few people who could help if I got into a pickle and that makes her feel better. A few years ago one of our members on here went MIA for a few days and his wife came on here distraught looking for help, that made me start planning things a little different to make things easier for my own wife in similar circumstances.



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He was the one that came on here a year or so later because she came to him wanting a divorce wasn't he? Or am I getting things mixed up.


If hunting is your mental break, give her one. I know its cliche, but a spa day or something so she has a mental break.

 

[GraveyardNRSE]

I’m with the envelope each day idea. I’ll do movie tickets, spa day, gifts cards to her favorite places or we make an agreement that when I get back she gets to pick a destination for a “momcation”. Spa days seem to always be a big winner though! Go all out too. Massage with stones and all that BS.

 

[Sturgeon]

Your description of your wife bears a lot familiairty to my own, minus the fact that we don't have any kids or any other big responsibilities. I too am leaving for 14 days of hunting in a couple weeks so will closely be following this thread. We already have a dinner planned the night before I leave, and I want to surprise her with a picnic that week too. I'm encouraging her to plan a lot of activities on the weekends with friends/family, but am looking for a few other ideas. I'm also hoping to get out a couple postcards, she always likes getting those.

 

[NV HUNTER]

Any of my over night hunting trips become a girls weekend. My wife will find a friend or 2 to come spend the night, drink wine, and have some kind of take out delivery. She really enjoys having those weekends and starts planning them early

 

[Crapshoot]

Double dose of Viagra night before departure.

 

[Hucklebear]

Lots of good ideas, definitely doing something for her where she also gets a mental break as well would be nice. I am curious if she ever gets time away like you do with your hunting trips? A spa day is nice, but has she ever had at least a weekend off where you watch the kiddo and she maybe spends it with friends?

 

[Robinhood21]

FlyGuy,

This one really hits home with me. Our youngest is 13 months old today. She was born with Down Syndrome and a heart defect. She was also diagnosed with AML Leukemia a couple months ago and is going through chemo treatments as I type this. (FYI, she is doing amazing and all the doctors are very happy with her progress and she's currently in remission) She is absolutely the biggest joy in our lives. Her smile could make Ebenezer Scrooge crack a smile. She takes A LOT of our time. Needless to say I didn't hunt much last year, which is totally fine. I know there are a lot bigger things in life than hunting.

My wife took the year off of work and has spent every day with her that she's been at the hospital for treatments. I am up there for the first few days of chemo each round and am also up there every weekend. I'm not trying to throw a pity party, I'm just trying to get across how much our lives have changed in the last year.

She has also came from a family that doesn't hunt but she has taken to my lifestyle pretty well for the most part. I know there are times when it wears on her. I can definitely tell you that since she has been in the city with my daughter for chemo treatments, taking care of the house and our other daughter myself has given me a new appreciation for what she does on a day to day basis. Since then, I try to help out as much as I can with duties that she used to do herself.

My wife loves the casino so when ever she gets the itch to go, I send her off no questions asked. She doesn't get too crazy so I never have to worry about her loosing much money. It's her little "getaway". I don't get it though, as I can't stick money in a machine and hope to get lucky but... that's her thing and I have mine.

My wife also knows that everything this past year has taken a toll on me as well though. I haven't done any prep for hunting this year. No food plots, no scouting, no treestand prep, no bow tuning, barely any shooting, no reloading, etc. She can tell when I get "Cabin Fever", especially on the weekends, as she's used to me always doing something hunting related.

My father and I have a pronghorn hunt in Wyoming coming up and I told my wife that I would be staying back and not going. She has been ADAMANT about me going. She even asked me if there was anything I needed for the hunt because she said, "you're going and if you need anything, you better get it now." She is a Hell of a woman! I've been trying to be cautiously optimistic but I know if something goes wrong with our little girl, I wouldn't blink an eye if I needed to stay behind.

I told her once things settles down and she can get away, I'm sending her to Vegas with her cousin. I'll try to sprinkle some other things in there as well. She deserves more than I can give and I'm proud to call her my wife!

 

[Jskaanland]

I'll echo Jordan, schedule a babysitter and let her go do what she wants. I've done that for my wife and booked a massage.

We also now have a deal she takes a trip with the budget of my nonresident tags/hunts at the end of the season. In years past she found good tickets to Az to visit family. This year she found round trip to Germany for 450, and she'll travel with her friend that lives there.

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[Titan]

I didn't realize it at the time, but one of the better gifts was getting a Garmin InReach. The stress reduction from knowing I'm ok and seeing gps coordinates was a huge relief.

 

[FlyGuy]

Thanks for the feedback! I sort of expected a lot more super macho comments, but that's why I like RS so much!

The spa thing is a good one, going to do that today. Also working on getting my MIL coming over for a few days as well. Will buy the flight if that's what it takes. Working on the bills now. And notifying a couple close neighbors that I'll be out and she may need a hand with something while I'm away. I do have an InReach. This kind of trip just wouldn't be possible without it. I think that I need the reassurance that everything is OK back at home every bit as much as she needs to know that I haven't been eaten by a bear. I do think I'll record a few videos of myself for her to play for my son while I'm gone. He's now become aware of my absence, but doesn't quite understand the concept of when I'll be back.


To answer another's question, until very recently she would not give herself a break regardless of how much I encouraged her to. She quit working the day he was born 8 years ago (at 25 weeks) and has been with him everyday since then. He still has a number of challenges, but he's gotten stronger and after 8 years I can see her begin to relax slightly. Earlier this year, we dropped him off with his grandparents and spent two nights on the coast celebrating our 15th anniversary. That was the very 1st time she spent a night away from him. I didn't think she was going to go through with it, but we had a great time and so did he, which has given her confidence. So, the next weekend after I get back she and her sister are going away to a big annual antique show here in TX. I wish she would do something more equivalent to my trip, but that's all ahe wants so I'm covering while she gets away for a short bit. I am very happy she is doing this and that I can help while she goes. It eases my guilt for indulging my addictions at her expense.



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[sndmn11]

How a bout a SPA WEEK? You are going to be gone for two weeks, a spa day or half day might seem like kicking some scraps under the table her way. Or set up a vacation weekend for her and her girlfriends. There has to be something that she has mentioned dreamingly of wanting to do that she doesn't have the time for or maybe thinks is a stretch financially. Make it happen.

 

[William Hanson (live2hunt)]

Double dose of Viagra night before departure.

Don't kid yourself that's for you

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[cnelk]

Write a couple letters, address them to her, put a stamp on them.
Then along the way, drop them off separately at an outgoing mail location in some hodunk town you drive thru
She'll get the letters on different days, and she will recognize the effort you put in.

Also, set up a calling tree with one of your friends that is a knowledgeable handy man she can call
Inevitably, something will go wrong with the house/car when you are away.
One stop shop for her.

Best of luck